It All Falls Down
by LilyAlice
Summary: Bella’s best friend Edward had always been there for her, he was there when she broke her leg and when she got her first A on a test, but when tragedy strikes Bella’s family can Edward keep her together? Can he show her the true meaning of love? All human
1. No Bravery

**YAY first chapter to my new story.**

The ocean below, crashed with all its might against the formidable cliff face. I stared down at it, tempting it to try and attack. The waves hit the side, desperately trying to erode the rock. Waves began to build higher and higher and the wind picked up. Each wave coated by white. Purple clouds moved steadily towards me and my cliff, bring the lightning and rain closer. The water below; black and depthless surged up drawing closer and closer to my ledge. 

My dress whipped around my ankles, slashing around in the wind. Strands of my hair escaped its tight bun and tendrils blocked my sight. The rain began to fall as the clouds released their heavy burden; my tears began to wash away as the rain replaced them. I spread my arms out, like wings. Throwing my head back I let the rain pelt my face, washing away the make-up, washing away the mask. The elastic that held my brown hair broke allowing my hair to be free. It swirled around me whipping my face and exposed skin. 

I stood swaying in the wind for an immeasurable amount of time before I lifted up onto the tips of my toes. I placed my hands above my head and flung myself off the cliff, plunging like a rock towards the black, deadly waves. Thunder crashed above my head and lightning lit up the sky once more before I was submerged completely under the water. The current grabbed and ripped at my body, pulling me in every direction but up. I let my body go limp and waited for the last of my air to leave me. 

Fate seemed to have a different plan for me that night. I felt two strong arms grasp the collar of my dress and I was roughly pulled back to the surface. When my head broke the surface I gasp for air, my body working against me. I could feel the cold water seeping into my skin and numbing my bones. My body too exhausted to move was being dragged through the water towards shore by strong capable hands. Lack of oxygen and exhaustion seemed to settle on my body as I was pulled through the water. 

My mind was slipping from me and I could feel someone pick me up and carry me out of the water. I could feel someone pounding on my back, trying to get the water out of my lungs so I could breathe in the oxygen I so dearly needed. I caught a glimpse of emerald before I blacked out. 

Mere minutes or possibly hours could have passed before I regained consciousness. I could feel strong, warm hands gently rubbing my back as I lay face down on a pile of soft blankets. My eyes fluttered open and I was staring into a beautiful fire that was crackling as though it was content. The hand on my back paused in its soothing movements and I felt someone's weight shift on the couch. Suddenly a face appeared in my line of sight, a face I knew so well.

"Edward," I whispered.

"Bella, how are you feeling?" He asked his voice was filled with emotions his emerald eyes no different.

"I feel fine." I answered knowing he would never believe me. I looked into his eyes and saw the anger I knew was coming.

"How could you be so stupid Bella?" He screamed at me before standing up and pacing the room. I hung my head letting Edward continue his lecture and pacing. "You jumped off a cliff! That's considered attempted suicide. How could you do this to me? I thought you were dead when I pulled you from the water. Why? Bella Why? When I saw you jump, I saw my life ending before my eyes." He said calming down and grabbing my face between his two warm hands. 

His green eyes sparkled with so many emotions ranging from anger to anguish. I watched as a droplet of water fell from his left eye, it took me a second to process that Edward was crying. Edward's pain made my heart wrench and I felt the tears I had tried most of the week to keep at bay fall from my eyes. Edward's hands moved from my face to my back and I soon found myself tucked under Edward's chin on his lap. The tears fell steadily down my cheeks staining Edward's shirt with salt. The tears were too strong for me too control, they shook my body with their force. 

I was barely conscious of Edward's hands running up and down my back or stroking my hair, I heard his musical voice speaking words to me, but the words seemed too foreign for me to understand. I cried into Edward's chest for what felt like eternity, eventually though my eyes ran dry and I was too tired to move. I fell asleep to the soft steady beats of Edward's heart below my head.

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**Please tell me what you think, I'm unsure about how good this story will be recieved.**

**LilyAlice**


	2. Storm

**Wow, thank-you so much to everyone who reviewed I never thought this story would get that kind of response. Just to inform everyone this is an all human story about Bella and Edward, so expect fluff. Something else new the chpaters are going to have titles. The titles are songs that helped me write the chapter and the songs lyrics fit perfectly with the chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer, I did not write Twilight/New Moon/ Eclipse.**

_Storm- Lifehouse._

I woke up to a bright light streaming into my eyes through the open curtain across the room. I slowly stood up and my head ached from the movement,a littleachy from my adventure lastnight.I could feel a cool airsweeping along my legs from a hole in the comforter,looking down I noticed that I was no longer wearing the black dress I wore to my parents funeral, I was wearing one of Edward's big and baggy shirts. I looked over to find my dress hanging from the door, ruined from the water and the rocks. 

Walking quickly I moved to te bathroom acorss the room and loked into the silver framed mirror hanging on the wall.My eyeswere red and puffy fromcrying, my hair full of knots as it fell in waves pastmy shoulders. Edward's grey shirt fell to mid thigh and a blush crept up my cheeks as I realized I was only wearing his shirt and my under garments. The blush turned a brighter red when I put the pieces together, Edward must have been the one to change me last night, since there was no one else in the house and I definitely didn't.

"Bella," I heard Edward say quietly into my room, thinking I still might be asleep. I stepped out of the bathroom and looked at him, he was only wearing his black jeans his shirt obviously on me.

"Morning," I whispered to him, as he wrapped his arms around me and held me to his chest.

"Are you feeling up for French toast?" He asked, pulling me away so he could look in my face. I nodded my head slowly and he pulled me down the stairs towards my kitchen where I could smell the bacon and French toast cooking.

"You didn't have to do this." I told him, hoping he could hear the gratitude I felt through my dull voice.

"Yes I did." He responded placing a plate full of food in front of me. "Now hurry up and eat, Esme and Carlisle are getting worried about you." He kissed my forehead before walking back upstairs. I watched him leave wanting him to come back. I knew it was an irrational feeling but I felt like curling up in a ball when he wasn't near me, he was the last good thing in my life and I needed him to keep me stable. Edward was like a ray of sun light through the cloud cover in my life, I needed him to keep me from suffering. 

I hadn't noticed that I wrapped my arms securely around my chest until I felt Edward's smooth hands prying them apart and lifting me effortlessly into his arms. I felt him carry me up the stairs slowly so he wouldn't shake me too much. With one look in his eyes I knew Edward was acting like I was made of glass, moving around me like he was walking on egg shells.

"Bella, can you get dressed?" He asked me softly when we reached my room. I nodded weakly but didn't let go of his neck, I could feel and hear his deep chuckle.

"You're going to have to let go of me, honey." He said gently removing my hands from his neck.

"Don't leave me like they did." I whispered to him, the pain evident in my voice.

"Bella, they didn't leave you. It was a stupid accident, your parents loved you." He told me, taking my cold hands in his. I sighed at how wrong Edward was

"Just don't leave me." I said again.

"I won't, but how are you going to get dressed?" He asked, slowly I reached up and placed my hands over his eyes, telling him to close his eyes. When I removed my hands I saw that his eyes were closed and I quickly stripped out of his shirt and into a new pair of under garments. I didn't know what possessed me to change in front of Edward, but I trusted him completely that I knew he wouldn't look. Even if he did look a part of me knew I still wouldn't care, 10 years of friendship would do that to you. 

When I was fully dressed in sweatpants and a t-shirt I tapped Edward on his shoulder. I watched as a small smile appeared on his lips as his emerald eyes opened. Without thinking I brushed a piece of his bronze hair from his eyes, so I could see both his eyes clearly. 

I loved looking into Edward's eyes they were a clear green, untouched by brown or blue. His eyes were the windows to his emotions, when his face was blank his eyes spoke volumes he never could. I once told him how expressive his eyes were and he told me mine were the same way. Sometimes we could go a whole day without talking but knowing how the other person felt, just knowing that words weren't enough to express what we felt. Edward and I were so different, yet similar in so many ways, kindred spirits.

"Are you ready to go see Esme and Carlisle?" He asked.

"No, but I will go." I told him. "I'll be fine Edward." I said hating the way he was watching me so carefully.

"I know you will you're a strong girl." Slowly he stood up and pulled on his grey T-shirt before picking me up and cradling to his chest.

"I can walk down the stairs." I informed him, as he walked me down the stairs.

"Humour me?" I looked up into his eyes and saw his constant need to help me. I caved under his gaze and nodded. I let him walk me to his silver Volvo and I let him place me in the passenger's seat. The whole ride to his house we were silent, it was a comfortable silence the ones we usually always had. Looking out the window I noticed Edward was taking a longer way to his house.

"What's with the scenic route?" I asked him.Edward was purposefully keeping his head straight and driving the speed limit while I talked to him.

"I felt like driving home a different way." He told me.

"Why do you even bother lying to me?" I asked, wondering what was going through Edward's head.

"I didn't want to take you past the place where thecarcrashhappened." He finally told me, turning his head so he could look at me. I felt my body go rigid, just at the mention of what happened to my parents. I felt Edward's hand brush against mine and I quickly grabbed his hand, needing something to anchor me away from the pain in my chest. 

Looking out the window I noticed that Edward was pulling over onto the shoulder of the road. I didn't know I was crying until everything became blurry and Edward was pulling me out of my seat and onto his lap. Edward didn't say a word he just cradled me in his arms, protecting me from the world and myself. 

When I gathered myself together Edward released me and placed me back in the passenger's seat, buckling me up and turning the car back on. No words were needed for what just happened, Edwrad knew he couldn't comfort me with words and that made me draw closer to him both physically and emotionally.As I watched Edward drive to his house I became aware of how much I depended on him, he was becoming like a drug to me. Whether he was an unhealthy drug or a healthy one I wasn't sure yet.

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**I hope this chapter was good, tell me what you think!**

**LilyAlice**


	3. Life of a Soldier

**Thank you so much for the reviews, it's amazing how many I've recieved in just two days. To clear up on thing Edwrad adn Bella are 17, and its the very beginning of October.**

_Life of a soldier-Ill Scarlett_

Edward's house came into view as Edward turned the last curve on his driveway. The white mansion that was buried deep in the woods, was my second home, I spent a majority of the past 10 years in Edward's house I had many fond memories of Edward and I cooped up in his room playing monopoly or Edward trying to teach me how to play piano, which never turned out thebest.

When the Volvo came to a stop in the garage I stepped out of the car and looked around at Alice's yellow Porsche and Emmett's jeep, both of them still sparkling, no dirt or scratch to be found. Walking over to Edward he grabbed my hand and we walked through the house together.

The Cullen's house always managed to make me stare in awe when I walked in. The front room was open with Edward's grand piano and a section of white couches, the kitchen lay to the back of the house and the staircase to the east. I loved how the colours contrasted and how open the room was; it never failed to make me feel welcome. When the door closed with a loud _click_, Esme walked around the corner a dish towel in her hands. Her caramel hair tied back in a elegant fashion, strasnd of her curly hair framing her face. Esme's hazel eyes were warm along withher soft features and motherly presence being near her made me feel instantly better.

"Hello kids." She said with a small smile. "How are you doing Bella?" She asked walking towards me.

"Better." I was telling the partial truth I was doing better. Esme wrapped her small arms around me and she hugged be briefly before kissing my cheek affectionately.

"Carlisle wants to speak to you." She told me, giving me a sad smile. I nodded once and headed up the stairs turning back around when I couldn't hear Edward following me. I saw that Edward was still across the room talking to his mother and my eyebrows rose in confusion.

"Are you coming?" I asked Edward.

"Carlisle wanted to speak just with you." Edward said roughly. With a sigh I walked back across the room and grabbed Edward's hand pulling him up the stairs towards Carlisle's office, I could feel Edward stumbling to regain his footing at the surprise of being dragged.In the end it wasEdwardwho had to carrying me on his back part way to Carlisle's office after I almost fell down the stairs, tripping over mothing but air. When Edward set me gently on my feet I knocked on the study door.

"Come in." We heard Carlisle softly call. Edward pushed open the door, allowing me to walk in first. Carlisle was sitting behind his big mahogany desk, his reading glasses positioned at the end of his nose as he tried to read a patient's medical file. Placing the file down, he looked up at us and smiled. Carlisle was always a calm and happy person; it was hard to picture him without a smile on his face.

"Have a seat." Gesturing to the two seats across the desk, I giggled quietly, only to receive a strange look from Edward.

"Last time we were in here and Carlisle said that we were in trouble for putting a hole through the dry wall." I told him smiling slightly at the memory. Edward rolled his eyes but sat down and took my hand in his. 

"I know this is not the best time to tell you this Bella but I talked with your lawyer this morning about your parents wills." My eyes widened and breathing became difficult, my smile slipped from my face as the pain in my chest grew stronger. Carlisle looked at me sympathetically as I tried to control my emotions. Edward wrapped his arms under my knees and my back hoisting me out of my chair and onto his lap. I calmed under Edward's touch and soon was able to focus on Carlisle. As long as I focused on the here and now I would do fine, I kept telling myself.

"Your parents left everything to you, the catch is you're still seventeen and in this situation your Aunt Celine gets custody of you." I blinked twice as that information settled into my brain, my Aunt was my guardian. Was I going to have to move? Was I never going to see Edward again? Where did she live? Was she married? I quickly registered the panic that was bubbling up in my mind as the questions flowed through my mind like water down a stream. Looking up I saw Edward looking down at me his green eyes smoldering me withhis sadness. Instinctively I tried to make the sadness disappear from Edward's eyes, make everything better. Reaching up I grabbed his face and pulled it down so our noses were touching. I could feel his breath fan across my face and his hands on my back pulling me closer unconsciously.

"I won't leave you if you don't leave me." My voice was rough but strong. I knew by the look in his eyes that was what made him sad.

"You can't promise me that." He told me. I forgot for a second where we were and who was in the room, it was only Edward and I in this moment. 

"I can and I will." I said seeking strength in his eyes, I alwasy found strength in the striking green. Our moment was broken by Carlisle clearing his throat.

"You might be glad to hear that we contacted your Aunt and she said she will move here." I blinked in shock, what kind of person was my Aunt that she would rather move to a small town to take care of me rather than me move to her house? I didn't ponder this long there was more important things at hand.

"When is she to arrive?" I asked seriously.

"In the next week, so until she arrives you'll be staying here with us in Alice's room." Carlisle smiled at us and relief washed through me, I didn't have to leave Edward. I almost laughed out of happiness and Carlisle's statement. Carlisle knew I never stayed in Alice's room, I think everyone in the Cullen household knew that they just never acknowledged it, Edward's room was my sanctuary. I suddenly felt physically and emotionally weak, Edward's hands rubbing circles on my back became hypnotizing and I closed my eyes,my mind seeming to wander in between sleep and consciousness.

"How's she doing?" Carlisle asked Edward quietly.

"Not good." Edward answered truthfully. "She is completely destroyed. Her parent's death hit her harder than I ever expected it to. She has nightmares in her sleep, she screams out for me to help her and I can't do anything. At the slightest mention of her parent's she tenses up, sometimes without even knowing what she's doing." Edward pausedlike he was fighting an internal battle about something. "Dad if I tell you something will you please keep it to yourself?" Edward asked Carlisle his voice pleading forCarlisle to understand.

"I promise I will keep it to myself." Carlisle said in a subdued voice.

"She tried to kill herself." Edward said the anguish back in his voice. I heard Carlisle gasp and stand up from his chair.

"How? When?" Carlisle asked coming to kneel in front of Edward and me.

"Last night after the funeral she jumped off the cliffs in La Push. I was terrified dad; I had never in my life felt so helpless and scared. I chased after her when she ran out of the funeral home, but I was almosttoo late…I was almost too late." I could feel Edward's body shaking as he sobbed quietly in the chair with me in his arms. I felt a new pair of arms pick me up and I was placed softly on a leather couch.

"Edward." Carlisle said and I heard him take his son into his arms. "You saved her life; she's sitting right over there breathing and alive." I could picture his striking green orbs shine with tears as they fell down his pale face, I could see the way his chest would heave as he tried to keep the tears from his eyes and all I wanted to do was get up and hug him, keep him in my arms and protect him from the horrors he was facing.

"But I was almost too late; she was going todie in my arms if I didn't move asfast asI did, if I wasn't as strong as I am. When I dragged her onto the shore all I wanted to do was lay down." Edward's velvet voice was rough.

"I can say I understand your pain Edward, as a doctor I hold dying people almost every week." Carlisle said. "If you ever need comfort come to me, you need to be strong for Bella though, she needs you now more then ever." That was the last I heard of the strange yet sad conversation before I slipped into dreamland and didn't resurface for awhile.

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**I have put up a story called 'I'll be your lullaby' it's Edward's POV of the first chapter of this story,BellaxEdward4evr requested it and I gave it a shot, so please check it out if you want to know what was going through Edward's mind.**

**Reviews are always welcomed, so review away if you like.**

**LilyAlice**


	4. Goodbye Apathy

**I can't even begin to explain how happy it makes me when I read all the amazing reviews I'm getting from you wonderful people. So thank you so much for your support.**

_Goodbye Apathy - One Republic_

"Bella, wake up." Edward said to me gently shaking my shoulder.

"I'm up." I told him throwing off the covers, standing up and walking over to Edward's closet.

"Well you are now." He said trying to make me smile and failing miserably. I turned around and stared at him as he sat on his bed.

"Where are my clothes?" I asked him. Edward pointed towards the top drawer on his dresser and I walked over to find a full drawer of my clothes. Pulling out a sweatshirt and a pair of jeans I headed into his bathroom and locked the door. With the water pouring down on my back and the door locked I broke down on the shower floor. I cried for my mother and my father, I cried for Edward and I cried from guilt of what I had done to him. The tears hit me harder then they did two nights ago, they brought me straight to my knees and I lay curled in the fetla position at the bottom of the shower. It took me a few very long minutes to get my tears under control, to reign in the sadness and bottle it up once more.

I pulled my shaking body off the shower floor and leaned against the wall trying my hardest to regain some composure. When the tears stopped flowing I turned off the shower and wrapped a towel securely around my chest before stepping out and brushing my hair. I gasped when I saw the face in the mirror, the girl staring back at me was dead, lost to the world, her face was too pale and sallow to belong to the Bella Swan I once knew. Her eyes were darker somehow, burdened by a terrible loss, the loss of loved ones and a life. Dark brown hair fell like a curtain along colorless cheeks. 

I quickly turned away from the mirror scared of what was staring back. I suddenly knew why Edward's emerald eyes had dimmed, why they looked so sad. I was the cause of his pain, something I already knew just not the extent of it. As I got dressed I swore to myself I would try my hardest to never let Edward see me cry again, I would use everything in me to keep him from that pain. I promise to myself I knew I could keep, I would keep my pain inside. 

Taking one last deep breath I opened the bathroom door and walked back into his bedroom, only to find Edward in a deep sleep on his bed, his limbs thrown around in strange positions. Leaning against the wall I watched as his chest moved in a rhythmic pattern up and down. I was startled from my staring when I heard a soft knock on the door that could only be Alice. I swiftly yet quietly moved to the door, flinging it open I looked down to see a very content looking Alice smiling back at me. Alice's usually spiky black hair was laying flat against her head, her blue eyes sparkling with her signature cheerfulness. Moving into the hall I closed the door so we would not disturb Edward with our voices.

"Good-morning Alice," I said in a quiet voice.

"It's not morning it's 8:00 at night." Alice informed me with a frown.

"Oh, I must have lost track of time." I told her as my mind drifted away from the conversation as I tried to remember where all the time went. Looking down I saw Alice's mouth moving but I couldn't hear the words, pulling away from my thoughts I focused on Alice.

"I came to see if you and Edward would like to watch a movie with Jasper and me?" Alice asked her smile seeming to falter.

"I would love to let me go get Edward; we'll meet you downstairs in 10 minutes." I turned around to open the door when I heard Alice's bell like voice call my name.

"Bella, we're going to be watching Pirates of the Caribbean, is that okay?" She asked me her voice worried.

"Yes." I answered simply before pushing open Edward's door and walking over to the bed. I sat on the bed and scooted over to Edward's side. Looking down at him sleep I felt a warm sensation move through my veins and a small but genuine smile crept onto my lips. My hand reached out and I brushed a strand of bronze hair from his face.

"Edward." I whispered in his ear and watched as his green eyes opened. "Come on Alice wants to watch a movie." I said pulling on his hand to get his tired body to move. I felt him tug back and I went falling back onto the bed and on top of his very warm body. His long pale arms snaked around my waist and he held me snug against his body.

"Sleep now, movie later." He said in my ear. I tried pulling his arms off me but he was holding on too tight, turning around I saw that Edward had fallen back asleep. Leaving me no other choice I reached into Edward's pants pockets and pulled out his phone quickly calling Alice's number.

"Edward?" She answered with a confused tone.

"No Alice it's me." I told her talking louder than usual hoping the mention of Alice would scare Edward and he would jump up and go downstairs.

"Oh, hello Bella, What's wrong?" She asked her tone cheerful again.

"Edward fell asleep again but this time with me in his arms. Try all I may he won't let go of me, I need your help." I heard Alice laugh on the other end of the line and tell Jasper about my situation.

"Okay we'll be there in a minute." She said laughing. I hung up Edward's phone and placed it back in his pocket.

"Edward, Alice is coming." I said in his ear. In response Edward's arms tightened around my waist. With a sigh I relaxed into his embrace, knowing that there was no use fighting against him, he just wouldn't budge, sometimes he could be too stubborn.

"Super sister to the rescue!" Alice yelled as she jumped into the room, snapping a picture when her feet landed on the ground.

"Alice no pictures," I told her covering my face with my hands. The flash of the camera and Alice's yell made Edward wake up and his drowsy eyes surveyed his room taking in the situation.

"Alice, Jasper." Edward said nodding at them before getting up from the bed and stretching. As he stretched his grey shirt lifted up showing a sliver of his perfect stomach. "No need to go all super sister on me, I'm coming down to watch the movie." Edward told his sister as he shooed her out. "Just give us a minute." I watched in silence as Edward closed the door and came towards me, sitting down at my side.

"Are you sure you want to go see a movie with Alice?" He asked me his eyes full of concern only for me.

"We're watching Pirates of the Caribbean," 

When Edward and I entered the living room it was pitch black except for the familiar blue glow of the television. Grabbing a blanket from the hall closet I sat down and covered Edward's lap before moving under myself. The movie started up and I watched with forced attention as the scenes in the movie flashed on the T.V. 

By the time the movie ended, everyone but me was asleep. Slowly and quietly I stood up and walked over to the television turning it off. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust to the darkness but when they did I grabbed a blanket off Alice and Jasper and curled up on the floor, hoping to get some sleep.

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**I just want to say the chapters will be coming out not everyday because these chapters are harder for me to write than any others, I need to make it perfect for you amazing people.**

**About "I'll be your lullaby" I'm only going to change chapters into Edward's POV if there's not alot of dialogue or Bella and Edward are seperate for a major part. I will only write a chapter in Edwrad's POV if anyone requests it, so you must tell me if you want a chapter in Edward's POV.**

**LilyAlice**


	5. Cavalry

**Thank you so much for the wonderful reviews. I was absolutely bored out of my mind this fine afternoon so I wrote another chapter.**

_Cavalry- Hello Kelly_

The next day the sun was shining on Forks, Washington a rare occurrence but one that most people took advantage of, even Edward. Edward had grabbed a blanket and told me we were going to spend the rest of the day outside, sitting, talking and reading.

"Edward you are aware that it is a cold October day? I emphasize the word cold." I told him incredulously, I still couldn't believe how strange Edward was acting. It was fine for him to be cheerful, but the way he was acting was overkill.

"I am fully aware it is October, but thank you for your concern." He said grabbing my hand and pulling me through the sliding glass doors in his kitchen, his smile still intact. I pulled my coat tighter around my body as the wind hit me from the left. Clenching my teeth I pushed forward following Edward as he walked into the far corner of his yard where the swing was moving gently with the wind. Looking at the swing I remembered the album of memories I had on that swing.

"Edward remember when you were trying to show me how to swing on a swing and you fell off hitting your head so hard on the ground you broke your nose?" I asked him, trying to make him laugh. I hadn't heard Edward's laugh in a week, his silky addicting laugh.

"I didn't fall off you pushed me off." He answered spinning around and looking at me, pointing an accusing finger at me.

"No way, you fell off."

"No Bella you were excited about trying to swing so you reached out for the swing to stop me, but instead of grabbing the swing you missed the rope and pushed me off." Edward said wincing as he remembered the painful memory. Thinking back at the incident maybe that was how it went. My mind seemed to be working against me these days.

I moved forward and lowered myself onto the swing moving myself gently back and forth. Looking out across the yard I saw Esme's flowers sparkling in the sun and the morning dew glittering as all the tiny water droplets were hit by the sun.

"Come here." Edward said to me from the blanket he lay out in the sun. Slowly I got of the swing and walked towards him trying hard to keep my composed face, knowing the tone in Edwrad's voice ment there was something on his mind.

"Yes?" I asked when I sat beside him, folding my hands in my lap.

"We need to talk." He told me slowly as he scrutinized my face.

"We do?" I said playing the ignorant role.

"Bella, you jumped off a cliff." He told me, stating the extreme obvious.

"I did." I said in a clipped tone. Edward's eyes began to darken as the pain resurfaced in him. I knew not talking about it was going to hurt him just as much as talking about it would, but I couldn't talk about it. I didn't want to talk about it; I wanted to forget about it like I did so many other things in my life.

"We don't have to talk now." He told me lowering his eyes. "But we will have this conversation sooner or later."

"Okay." I said before reaching around Edward and grabbing Jane Eyre, which he had brought out for me.

"Before you become too engrossed in your book I have one more thing to say." Edward said nervously. I looked up at him from over the top of the novel waiting for him to continue. "Please don't shut me out Bella, I want to be here for you, I want to be the person you can come to." He lifted up his head so his eyes met mine and I saw the honesty behind his words. "I want to be your best friend, the one you always ran to when something went wrong." He finished his eyes smothering me.

"Edward you will always be my best friend, I have no clue what would make you think otherwise. If you want to be there for me, just be near me. I never stopped coming to you Edward, yours were always the first arms I would run to." I told him before become completely engrossed in Charlotte Bronte's alluring novel. The cool breeze lightly ruffled my hair as I lay still on the blanket.

I didn't know how much time had passed in silence until I heard Esme call us inside for lunch. I placed my book back down and stood up with Edward's help, quickly stretching out my stiff limbs. Edward grabbed my hand as we walked towards the back door. I squeezed his hand, glad that I had someone who knew me sometimes better than I did. Esme had made a large lunch and everything was spread out on the dining room table. The food ranged from a healthy vegetable tray to a bowl of chips. I quickly grabbed a plate and loaded it up, knowing that as soon as Esme called Emmett down he would devour most of it. Alice and Jasper were already seated at the table and were talking animatedly about something.

"Emmett lunch!" Esme called up the stairs, a second later we could all hear the familiar stomping of Emmett's feet as he ran down the stairs, eager to get to the array of food filled trays. Emmett soon entered the kitchen his dark curly hair falling into his blue eyes.

"Food," Emmett said in a tone full of desire. I looked over to see Edward rolling his eyes at his older brother before biting into the sandwich he made himself. It surprised me often when I thought about how different each one of the Cullen's was.

Alice was a little ball of fun and optimism; it took a lot to wipe the smile off of Alice's face. Emmett was an honest and sometimes blunt person; he would always voice his thoughts, Emmett was the most outgoing to the Cullen's he loved life almost as much as food. Edward was the strong, quiet one; his silence spoke a thousand words. Edward took after his father completely; he was caring and kind, loving and serious.

It wasn't just their personalities that set them apart from each other, their appearances set them apart sometimes even more the their personalities. Alice was short and skinny to the extreme; she had short spiky black hair and the brightest blue eyes which constantly sparkled with contained exuberance. Emmett was tall and muscular; his size alone could intimidate anyone, but his big kind blue eyes over shadowed his size and made you see his true fun self. Edward was the odd ball; he had clear emerald eyes, that seemed to hold wisdom way beyond his age and untidy bronze hair. Edward was tall but lean and he moved with grace unmatched by anyone else I knew.

I've known the Cullen's for most of my life and still couldn't find a flaw in them, they were absolutely perfect in my mind, untouched by tragedy or the horrors or our society.

I watched with a small smile as Alice bounced off her chair and jumped onto Edward's back almost slipping off, Edward smiled and helped Alice actually make it up his back. Edward walked with Alice over to Emmett where Alice started shaking her at him screaming about her broken couch. I nearly laughed at the sight infront of me, Alice being so short needed Edward's help just so she could see eye-to-eye with Emmett. These were the Cullen's I knew and loved, somehow I knew I would make it through this stage in my life as long as I had my best friend and his crazy siblings with me. Edward looked over and smiled a breathtakingly crooked smile, one that could have meltd the coldest of hearts and one I knew only I ever saw.

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**Bella is slowly starting to get out of her completly depressed stage and entering the sad stage. YAY! sad situations are hard to write. Please review! It would mean alot to me.**

**If anyone knows any good songs that would go with this story please tell me.**

**LilyAlice**


	6. Spell

**You guys are superb, I've never had such encouraging and amazing reviews. I have to thank the two people who are helping me strengthen my writing. The Cullen Ninja(Who has been with me since the start and who gives me the best advice) and Lily Turwaithiel(who's helping me with my horrible grammar).**

_Broken-Lifehouse annd Spell-Marie Digby(Listen to this only when you get to the piano scene)_

"Kids," I heard Carlisle call as he walked through the door, Edward dropped Alice to the floor and they all ran into the living room to greet their father. I looked over at Jasper and watched as his eyes filled with love as he watched Alice tackle her father in a hug. Jasper came into Alice's life nearly three years ago and ever since the tall blond couldn't be separated from small spunky Alice. I slowly stood up and walked into the living room, nodding at Carlisle when he smiled at me.

"And here are my other children." Carlisle said when Jasper accompanied me into the room.

"Hello Carlisle." Jasper said before walking over to Alice and wrapping his arms around her small frame.

"Bella and Edward can I talk to both of you in my office now." Carlisle said looking at us both. I nodded and followed Carlisle up the stairs Edward by my side. I felt nervous as I walked into Carlisle's office.

"I called you both up to say that Bella's aunt has arrived in town and is coming over in an hour." I stared at Carlisle as I processed his words; I was going to meet my aunt today, in less than an hour. I blindly stretched out my hand searching for Edward's. When I found his warm and comforting hand I gripped it tightly in mine, I needed his support.

"I think I'm going to have a quick shower before she comes." I told them both, my voice void of emotion. I walked out of Carlisle's study and as soon as the door closed behind me I took off down the hall and into Edward's bathroom. The tears were already falling down my face by the time I turned on the shower to mask my sobs.

Today was going to be harder than I thought, meeting my Father's sister was going to quickly wear on my emotionsand my composure. I let the tears run their course and soon was dressed in simple jeans and a t-shirt. Coming out of the bathroom I saw Edward sitting at the edge of his bed his hands folded in his lap and his bronze hair falling into his eyes.

"How are you?" He asked me without looking up from his hands. "Absolutely wonderful, my parents just died and my aunt who I've never met is coming over so she can take care of me, even though I'm a big girl. So, in conclusion, I am peachy." I snapped at him, instantly regretting my sudden burst of anger. I wasn't angry at Edward, not even close; I was just too emotional to take the careful way Edward was acting around me. I had too many emotions running through my body at one moment, that I was having trouble keeping them all in. That was still not an excuse to lash out at Edward, but he knew that.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked." He told me standing up and heading for the door. "Would you like me to leave you alone?" He asked me, lifting his head so his eyes could meet mine.

"No, I would not like that." I told him truthfully. I didn't even hear Edward come toward me, but I did feel his hands grab mine and he lift up my chin. "Bella, tell me if there's anything I can do for you. Anything at all." He didn't give me a chance to say anything to his statement before me pulled me back downstairs. "Emmett wanted to play Mario Party with us." Edward informed me when I gave him a confused look. I nodded and followed him into Emmett's room where he had already set up the Wii.

I played the game but my attention was divided, I only half watched as my character moved around the board and as Emmett and Edward argued over what board was the best. My mind was mostly on the arriving aunt that I've never seen or met before. I was started out of my thoughts when Edward called my name. Looking around I saw Emmett and Edward looking at me with funny expressions.

"Yes?" I asked them.

"We've been calling your name for the past minute, it's your turn." Emmett told me his eyebrows furrowing slightly.

"Oh, sorry," I said, embarrassed. Edward was looking at me with an intense look in his eyes before he stood up and put the Wii controller down.

"I think Bella and I are going to go and play some piano." Edward informed Emmett while grabbing my hand. I saw a quick and silent exchange between Edward and Emmett before Emmett nodded his head and turned off the game.

"Play us something nice." Emmett said his goofy smile back on his face.

"I couldn't play something nice if my life depended on it." I told Emmett. "But I'll make sure Edward does." I looked over to see Edward scowling at me.

"Did you just volunteer me to play piano?" He asked as we walked down the stairs towards the raised platform that held Edward's beautiful white piano.

"Yes." I said simply before sitting down on the piano bench and patting the empty spot beside me. With a sigh Edward walked over and sat down beside me, I could feel the warmth of his thigh against mine.

"What would you like me to play for you?" He asked looking down at me a small smile on his face.

"The first song that comes to your head," I told him, watching as he ran his long pale fingers over the ivory keys. His fingers settled on an A minor chord and he took a slow breath before starting. The melody started of quietly and sweet, growing into a complex composition as his fingers flew across the keys and his eyes followed, completely absorbed in his beautiful melody. The chords and notes filled the room with a bitter sweet melody with perfect harmony. The music seemed to surround me enfolding me in a series of emotions told through the sweetest of notes. We were soon lost in the music, in the beauty of something so pure and elegant. When Edward finished, the final chord echoed through the room and I could feel warm tears falling down my cheeks.

"Edward." I whispered. "That was…unbelievable, marvelous, extraordinary, and beautiful and every other wonderful word I can't think of right now." I told him, whipping the tears from my eyes. Edward reached up and whipped the tears from my cheeks.

"Why are you crying silly?" He asked quietly, his eyes boring into mine. "Like I said that was beautiful." I quickly whipped the rest of the tears from my eyes.

"What is that called?" I asked.

"I haven't given it a name yet." His answer confused me for a moment before all the little pieces fell into place. Edward wrote that melody.

"You wrote that didn't you?" I gasped out, he simply nodded his head. Looking around I saw all the Cullen's lurking around all the doorways. "It looks like you have an audience." Edward smiled and stood up pulling  
me along with him. I watched as he opened his mouth to say something but closed it when the doorbell rang. Panic quickly resurfaced and I looked around the room in horror. I looked at Edward and he directed me to the  
nearest bathroom.

"Clean your face up and then come out to meet her when you're ready." He whispered in my ear before turning around and leaving me to compose myself. I took a couple of cleansing breaths before rubbing water onto my face to erase the sign of tears. With another deep breath I walked out of the bathroom and into the living room where the Cullen's were gathered around a tall, young looking women and a short black haired girl who was staring with flirty eyes at Edward. The girl wore tight jeans and a very low cut red shirt, her face was covered in makeup and her hair fell in a pin straight curtain down her back. I walked faster into the room and went straight to Edward's side, not liking the way the girl was staring at Edward, like he was nothing but a piece of chocolate cake.

"And you must be Bella." The brown haired women said looking at me; her eyes were blue and her face void of any wrinkles. She stood a couple of inches taller than me and when she smiled it was unfriendly and forced. I looked at her and saw traces of Charlie in her appearance, the brown hair and complexion but nothing past that. My aunt Celine had no laugh lines and her blue eyes were cold and distant, missing the warmth Charlie's had. Without thinking I reached out and grabbed Edward's hand in mine giving it a tight squeeze, I didn't want to go with this women.

"Hello Celine." I said my voice indifferent.

"This is my daughter Lacey, she just turned seventeen." I looked over at the black haired girl and her blue eyes met my brown. I flinched back into Edward when I saw the hatred and malice in her eyes as she stared from me  
to Edward.

"Hello Lacey." I said politely. Looking between my aunt and her daughter, I knew life at my house wouldn't be pleasant. Looking up I met Edward's kind emerald eyes and relaxed, knowing I would always have him for support.

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**Tell me what you think. This chapter is going to be changed into Edwrad's POV for everyone who wanted another one in his POV, you just have to give me a day or two.**

**And to clear up some confusion Edward, Alice and Emmett are Actual siblings noone is adopted. (Edwrad is a junior, Alice a senior and Emmett is taking a year of school to figure out what he wants to do with his life)**

**LilyAlice**


	7. Caught in the Rain

**I've noticed a trend in all the reviews, everyone one of you hate Celine and Lacey. I wonder why :) Thank you a bunch for your support its freaking awesome.**

_Caught in the Rain - October Fall_

"Why don't we all sit down?" Esme said politely smiling at my aunt and her horrible daughter. I stiffly made my way towards the couch, catching Alice's eye as I walked by her. Alice's eyes were full of annoyance and disgust towards my cousin and aunt. I sat down with Edward on my right and Alice at my feet, I watched as Lacey eagerly sat on the other side of Edward and leaned into him.

"Where did you originally come from?" Esme asked Celine.

"We drove down from Seattle." Celine told Esme while glancing around the Cullen's living room.

"You have a very nice house." Celine said eyeing the expensive piano. "Who plays?" She asked nodding towards the piano.

"Edward plays." I told her my eyes narrowing as her eyes roamed over Edward's body.

"Would you play us a piece?" Lacey asked eagerly, her eyes also running over Edward's body. Edward looked over at her and nodded before standing up and walking to the piano bench.

"What would you like me to play?' He asked the room his eyes mainly focusing on me.

"The entertainer," I shouted out, wanting him to play a quick and upbeat piece, not liking the idea of him playing a soft and sweet melody for Lacey. I watched as Lacey's mouth curved into a smile as she listened to Edward play. My blood began to boil, just watching her stare at Edward like he was a prize to be won. I slowly stood up and went to Edward's side, feeling the strange need to protect him from Lacey's gaze.

"Very good Edward," Lacey purred walking over to his other side, in my peripheral vision I saw Alice giving Lacey a dirty look when she placed her perfectly manicured hand on Edward's shoulder.

"Thank you." He said politely before standing off and shrugging off her shoulder. I couldn't hide the small smile that graced my lips when Lacey pouted at the obvious rejection. I looked up at Edward sheepishly, meeting his confused eyes. I responded with a delicate shrug before sitting back down on the couch.

"I have to thank you so much for taking in Bella at her time of need." My aunt was telling Esme and Carlisle. "I hope she wasn't a bother."

"There's no need to thank us Bella is always welcome here." Esme said with a gentle laugh, but by the look in her eyes Esme didn't approve of my aunt either. The Cullen's had a strange knack for acting.

"Well come Bella dear. I would like to see the house now." My aunt said standing up and beckoning to Lacey to follow her.

"I'll drive Bella down." Edward said standing up. "Just follow me." I smiled gratefully at Edward, glad he was coming.

"It would be wonderful if you could lead the way, but if it's not too much trouble could you drive Lacey instead. I would love to catch up with Bella." Alice and Jasper's mouths dropped open at my aunt's strange request and Emmett's eyes widened.

"That would be fine." Edward said politely, always the gentleman. "Why don't you two wait outside so we can all say good-bye to Bella?" Edward asked flashing them a smile. They both nodded and the evil duo left the house. As soon as they left all the Cullen's smiles faded off their faces and their eyes became guarded and worried.

"I don't want you going home with them." Esme was the first one to speak up; all the Cullen's nodded their heads in agreement. "What if she can't cook, you'll never get a decent meal." I walked over and hugged Esme, who wouldn't? Esme was too sweet to me. Esme was shocked at first but eagerly returned my hug.

"I'll come straight to you if I need a good home cooked meal." I told Esme, feeling the familiar pain strike my heart as I thought about home cooked meals. Sensing my distress Edward put a gentle hand on my shoulder.

"That woman is horrible and her daughter isn't much better." Alice said. "Did you see what she was wearing and how she shamelessly flirted with Edward?" Of course I noticed you would need to be blind to miss it, but I kept my mouth shut.

"Alice." Jasper said, shocked that his girlfriend could say something so horrible about someone.

"Sorry Bella but it's true." I shrugged signaling that it was fine.

"Thank you so much for letting me stay here for the past couple of days." I told Carlisle giving him a quick hug.

"You're welcome here anytime." Carlisle told me. "That also includes the middle of the night." Esme added stealing another hug from me. Edward placed his free hand on my other shoulder and steered me towards the front door.

"Bella!" Alice called when my hand touched the door knob. "Trust yourself." She told me with a wink before walking into the kitchen with Jasper at her heels. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion at Alice's cryptic message.

"Don't think too hard about it. Alice loves to say the strangest things." Edward whispered in my ear. "Just the other day she told me I needed to look in my heart to find the answer." He told me laughing lightly at the memory. Alice always said strange things and called them her intuition.

"Alice goes about things in strange ways." I said before opening the door and walking towards my aunt's car. "Have fun driving with Lacey." I told him over my shoulder. I hopped into my aunt's Toyota and turned on the music as she slowly followed Edward down the driveway.

"Nice boy, that Edward." Celine said in an off handed tone.

"Very."

"He's your…." I could tell she wanted me to finish that sentence but at that moment I didn't know how. Best friend didn't sound like a strong enough term to describe what Edward was to me.

"Best friend since I was seven, he's everything." I told her truthfully, trying to get off to a better start.

"His family seems pretty rich."

"Carlisle's a doctor and Esme's an architect." I said watching her through narrowed eyes. Why would she make such a comment about the Cullen's?

"Happily married I suspect?" She asked.

"Extremely, they've known each other since they were sixteen, when Esme fell out of a tree and Carlisle caught her. They both spent a month together with broken wrists." That was one of my favourite stories about Esme and Carlisle, I remember always asking Esme to tell it to me when I was little.

"How romantic," She said dully. Suddenly everything clicked into place, the weird comments my aunt was making and how she was acting. My aunt was poor and was looking for money, no wonder she came down to Forks she probably recently lost her house or her job. I remained silent the rest of the ride to my house, trying to keep my anger and hatred in check. I sighed in relief when we pulled up to my house. Quickly jumping out of the car I ran to Edward and grabbed his hand, seeking the calming wave I always got when I was around him.

"Hey," He whispered in my ear pulling me closer to his chest. "Your cousin is really interested in our non-existent love life." He told me. I could feel his chest vibrating as he chuckled lowly in my ear.

"How do you know my love life is non-existent, lover boy." I said in a teasing tone.

"I'm hurt," He said grabbing his heart and looking at me with a hurt expression. Laughing I smacked his arm and walked into the house with Edward by my side. I took a deep breath before walking in the house, knowing what was waiting behind the door. Pictures of their smiling faces covered the living room, signs of them once living scattered around. My mom's favourite coat hanging off the back of my father's favourite chair, I stopped walking and stood stock still in the entrance. My breathing became ragged and pained and my heart beat erratically. My body seemed to turn numb and my mind became hazy. I found it strange when the house suddenly turned on an angle. I felt strong arms wrap around my waist and the house stopped turning. I felt myself being lowered onto something soft and a warm hand cupped my cheek. I slowly opened my eyes and saw Edward leaning over me his face only inches form mine.

"Bella breathe." He commanded me and I listened taking in a deep lungful of air. "Stay with me." He said keeping his eyes locked on mine. A few silent minutes passed before the strange stupor that had settled over my body left.

"Sorry." I whispered to Edward, leaning my cheek against his hand.

"Don't be." He whispered back before picking me up in his arms. He lifted me so easily it was as if I weighed only twenty pounds not the hundred and ten I knew I weighed. I didn't protest as he carried me up the stairs. Lacey and Celine were in my room when Edward entered and I could feel their gazes on me.

"What happened?" Celine asked slightly horrified.

"Nothing, Bella just needs to rest." Edward said before placing me on my mattress.

"Bella you look sick." Lacey said with a disgusted tone, to her mother she said. "Do I have to sleep in the same room as her?"

"Yes now go get your stuff from the car." I watched as Lacey huffed and stomped out of the room and down the hall.

"Can you take care of her?" Celine asked Edward. "I hate dealing with sick people." Edward's mouth dropped open in shock as my aunt fled from the room.

"I now see where her daughter gets her charm." Edward said drily and I snorted trying not to laugh. "It's late..." Edward said stating the obvious.

"You have to go now." I said finishing his sentence. I could feel my face fall when Edward nodded his head.

"I'll see you tomorrow morning, bright and early." He told me before kissing my forehead. I watched sadly as Edward got up and left the room. Settling my head back against the pillow I settled in for a long night.

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**I want an Edward! Please review and tell me your thoughts.**

**LilyAlice**


	8. Lullaby

**I got 37 reviews in one day for one chapter!! That is so amazing, I cannot even express how happy that makes me. Thank you so much for the reviews. **

**I have collaberated with The Cullen Ninja and together we are writing a story about Bella and Edward. The first chapter in **Edward's** POV is up on The Cullen Ninja's profile and its called 'What Light Through Yonder Window Breaks' Please go check it out, I'm going to be writing Bella's POV.**

_Lullaby - The Spill Canvas_

The soft ticking of the clock echoed around the room making it nearly impossible for me to fall asleep. I could hear the slow breathing of my cousin across the room, but her presence did not help me sleep. My mind craved another presence, a person whom I've become dependent on without even realizing it. With a tired sigh I sat up in my bed and glanced at the alarm clock. The bright red letters informed me that it was 3:17 in the morning. Trying to keep quiet, so I wouldn't wake up my cousin, I walked across the room and grabbed my cell phone from my coat pocket. I quickly dialed the familiar number and the phone instantly began to ring loudly in my ear.

"Hello?" Edward's soft, tried voice answered.

"Edward." I whispered back, listening to the rustling of blankets on the other end.

"Bella? What's wrong? Has something happened?" I could detect panic in his tone and the drowsiness faded.

"No everything's fine. I…I…I just couldn't fall asleep and I needed to hear your voice." I finally managed to get out, blushing slightly. This was the first time I voiced how I felt.

"Would you like me to sing you to sleep?" Edward asked his voice calm, I could hear no trace of amusement or anger.

"No, I just need you to stay on the phone." I told him, my eyelids already becoming extremely heavy.

"Goodnight Bella." He whispered and I fell asleep to the soft sound of Edward's breathing.

In the morning I found my cell phone lying beside my ear, holding it closer I could still hear Edward breathing. I looked at my cell phone in awe, amazed that it hadn't died or turned off.

"Edward." I said smiling into the phone. I stifled my laughter as I heard him mumble 'five more minutes'

"Edward, wake up." I tried again, this time raising my voice.

"I'm up, I'm up." He said, moving around on his bed, I heard a pause in the rustling of the sheets. "Bella?" he said into the phone in a confused tone.

"Hello sleepy-head." I said with false cheer.

"Did you get some sleep?" He asked.

"Yes thank you."

"Anything for you. Now I must hang up this phone and charge it. I'll pick you up for school in half an hour." I groaned. I had completely forgotten about going to school on Mondays.

"You forgot didn't you?" Edward asked in an amused tone.

"Yes." I grumbled quickly hoping out of bed.

"Be ready in half an hour." He commanded and we quickly said our goodbyes. I plugged my phone into the charger and grabbed my toiletries from the top of my dresser. I hurriedly ran down the hall hoping I would be the first one to use the hot water. Walking out of the bathroom after my shower I ran right into Lacey, her signature glare in her eyes doning a very short night gown.

"Hello Lacey." I said trying my hardest to be polite.

"Bella," She nodded before skirting around me and into the bathroom. Rolling me eyes, I walked down the stairs and grabbed a tall glass of orange juice and a granola bar for breakfast. Moving into the living room I grabbed my book bag and Jacket.

"Bye Aunt Celine!" I called, when I heard the Volvo pull up in the driveway. I saw Celine sitting in the kitchen reading the news paper, a cup of coffee in her perfectly manicured hand.

"Take Lacey with you." She told me, looking over the top of the newspaper.

"It's not my car it's Edwards." I told her annoyance surfacing in my tone.

"Well than bring the lad in and I'll ask him." With a sigh I opened the front door and beckoned Edward inside with a wave of my hand. I stood holding the door open for him as he slid out of his car. Edward's bronze hair shimmered in the rare sun and his pale skin seeming to sparkle. I watched as he walked towards me his muscles tensing beneath his tight black shirt.

"Everything okay?" He asked when he reached my side. I moved my eyes hurriedly from his chest and focused on his piercing eyes.

"Yes, but my aunt wants to talk to you." With raised eyebrows he walked into my kitchen.

"Ah, hello Edward, I wanted to know if you would drive my Lacey for me." My aunt asked sweetly. I rolled my eyes behind Edward's back, which seemed to be my new favourite thing to do, roll my eyes.

"It's not a problem." Edward said smiling at my aunt before turning to face me and winking. Smacking his arm I walked out of the house and towards the Volvo before I saw Lacey flirting with Edward.

The car was still warm and Edward's keys were still in the ignition. Sliding across the seat to the driver's seat I honked the horn and waved at Edward when his head peered out of the front window. I nearly laughed when Lacey stepped out of the house first, wearing nothing but leggings and a long shirt, swaying her hips for Edward. Edward followed her out her bag in his hand, staring at Lacey I wondered how she managed to get her claws into Edward so quickly. Lacey moved to the backseat and Edward sat in the passenger's seat.

"Did I say you could drive my car?" He asked me amusement glinting in his eyes.

"No, but since you were busy I took the liberty of moving over and driving." I told him turning the keys and listening as the car turned on with a soft purr, his music atomatically turning on. I stared at Edward questioningly as 'Lullaby' by Spill Canvas filled the car, the soft guitar calming me.

"Bella you shouldn't drive his car without his permission it's rude." Lacey interrupted my thoughts smiling sweetly at Edward, thinking she was sticking up for him.

"Thank you Lacey." Edward said flashing Lacey a small smile before smiling crookedly at me. I scowled at him and rolled my eyes.

"Eyes on the road," He teased pretending to freak out like I usually did when he didn't pay attention to the road or when he drove too fast.

"Happy?" I asked when I was facing the road.

"Very." He answered leaning over so he could push a strand of my hair out of my eyes.

"So Edward, how old are you?" Lacey asked trying to regain his attention.

"I'm seventeen."

"What classes do you have this year?" She asked hoping for a better answer.

"Biology, English, Chemistry, Physics, Gym and, Advanced Functions." He dully rambled off.

"Edward wants to be a doctor." I told Lacey, smiling at Edward. "I think you'll make a perfect doctor and it helps that you're the top of the class." I told him laughing lightly when a slight blush appeared on his cheeks at the compliment. "You're so cute when you blush." I teased him, getting back at him for the 'eyes on the road' comment. The rest of the ride to school was filled with Lacey's annoying high pitched voice as she blabbed on and on about herself to Edward. I stepped quickly out of the car hoping to seal her voice inside. Edward's head appeared on the other side and he smiled warmly at me.

"Do you think I could have my keys back?" He asked extending his hand.

"If you're good," I told him walking towards the school. I didn't notice right away that I had become the object of observation. It was a dreary October day and signs for the upcoming Halloween dance lined the hallways of the school. Edward directed me through the hallways his hand warm on my back. I kept my head down the entire time not wanting to meet the sympathetic eyes of my classmates, feeling the constant blush on my cheeks and the unwanted attention.

"Where am I supposed to go?" Lacey's annoying voice asked from Edward's left.

"To the office, I'll see you at lunch." I snapped at her, Edward pulled me closer to his body, reacting to the tone of my voice but Lacey didn't seem to hear it.

"Edward could you show me the way to the office?" Lacey asked in what she thought was an innocent voice.

"Sorry Lacey I've got to help Bella today." He said letting her down gently. Turning my head to the side I saw Lacey glaring at me before spinning on her high heels and walking back the way we came. The rest of the way to my first class, my classmates tended to avoid me, knowing I didn't want to talk or be approached but that didn't stop Mike Newton from harassing me.

"Bella, hi," Mike said in a breathless voice.

"Hello Mike." I said exasperated, Edward, noticing my discomfort the way he always did pulled me even closer to his body and glared at Mike his emerald eyes flashing.

"Newton I would appreciate it if…" I quickly stomped on his foot to keep him from finishing that sentence, knowing that Edward sometimes spoke harshly when he was angry.

"Mike I would love to chat but I have got to go and talk with the teachers about homework I missed." I told him as kindly as I could.

"Okay, well it's nice to see you Bella." Mike said before walking away. When Mike was well out of ear shot I turned to Edward and smiled at him as he winced.

"Sorry about the foot." I told him before grabbing his hand and pulling him to our first class.

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**I'm doing either chapter 7, 8 ,9 or 10 in Edward's POV so just keep that in mind, I still have to put out chapter nine and ten but thats just something to think about.**

**Remember check out the story on The Cullen Ninja's profile 'What Light Through yonder Window Break'**

**LilyAlice**


	9. Insensitive

**Again amazing reviews by everyone! I still don't know how to thank you. I hope you like this chapter, it may make you hate Lacey more then you already do.**

**I now have a six page essay to write, doesn't sound like alot right? well its due on Tuesday and I haven't started, so don't expect the next chapter for a couple of days. **

_Insensitive - Jann Arden_

The first part of my morning dragged by slowly and the stares that bored into my head were becoming increasingly irritating. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat for the millionth time in an hour, staring at the clock above the blackboard hoping the seconds would tick by faster. Eventually the bell rang and I scrambled out of my seat. Gathering my binder and notebook I ran from the room and right into a solid object. My notebooks tumbled from my arms as I tried to steady myself, using the hard object for stability.

"You should watch where you're going." Edward said with a chuckle as he looked down at me clinging to his waist, my nooks scattered around us,papers flying everywhere.

"Well you shouldn't be in the way." I told him, not listening to the people around us gossiping about my position or telling us to move.

"I'm sorry my lady." Edward said and I quickly removed my arms from his waist as he bent down and picked up my fallen books.

Are you ready to go for lunch?" Edward asked as he carried my books.

"As long as there are fries I'm good." I told him, loving the way he chuckled, his voice nothing but the softest silk and the sweetest note. We made our way to the lunch room and Edward bought me lunch, even after I protested for five straight minutes. At our lunch table Alice and Jasper sat deep in conversation, leaning towards each other, I felt pretty bad for breaking their private little bubble.

"Hey." Alice said cheerfully to us, leaning away from Jasper so she could look at us.

"Alice, tell your brother I can buy my own lunch." I asked her as I angrily shoved a fry in my mouth. Edward rolled his eyes beside me before he sat down beside me.

"Edward, Bella can buy her own lunch." Alice said mechanically. "But that won't stop you." She said in her normal cheerful voice. Our conversation was halted when we heard a loud screeching laugh coming towards us from across the cafeteria. Lacey was walking with Jessica and Lauren and they were headed this way. Edward moved closer to me making room on the bench for the loud bimbos.

"Hello Edward." Lacey said as she sat right next to him, Lauren and Jessica on her other side.

"Hello Lacey." He answered politely taking a bite of his apple. I nearly snarled when Lacey leaned closer to Edward brushing her chest against his arm. Turning my head away I met Alice's disgusted and knowing look as her blue eyes bored into mine. I instantly felt like Alice knew something that I didn't. Looking away from Alice's eyes, unsure if I was ready for what Alice knew, I saw the three girls flirting with Edward, I acted without thinking. I leaned forward into Edward and snatched his apple from his hand taking a bite from it and kissing his cheek.

"Is it good?" Edward asked with raised eyebrows, surprise evident in his eyes and completly unaware of the death glares the three girls were giving me behind his back.

"I prefer Gala apples, this is an empire." I told him placing the apple back in his hand, feeling my face heat up from my actions. Taking a slow bite from the apple in his hand he nodded his head.

"I knew that," He said looking at me in confusion.

"So Bella," Lacey said her voice filled with venom. "Who was the boy you were talking to last night?" She asked thinking she had something against me. I was slightly surprised she heard me talking on the phone last night.

"Edward." I said simply before turning back to my fries and eating them.

"Why would you call him?" Lacey asked at the same time Jessica asked "Are you two dating?" My eyes caught Edward's and soon we were laughing uncontrollably using each other for support. I wasn't sure why we were laughing; maybe it was from the sheer idiocy of the girls who had joined us or a release of sorts. When I was able to catch my breath I faced them and answered their questions.

"I called Edward because I wanted to talk and no we are not dating."

"Yet," I heard Alice mumble under breath only loud enough for Jasper and me to hear. Looking at Alice I raised my eyebrows and shook my head before standing up and throwing out the rest of my lunch, unable to sit any longer with _them. _

The rest of the week passed by in a very similar manner, people would still watch me like I was going to break down at any moment and 'the three', my new nickname for Jessica, Lauren and Lacey never left Edward's side at lunch. By the time the final bell rang on Friday I was ready to high tail it out of the school, feeling like a trapped animal in the small classrooms, but was forced to wait as Edward and Lacey walked slowly out of the school.

Grabbing the keys from Edward's back pocket when he walked by me I ran to the Volvo and hopped into the driver's seat. Edward slid gracefully into the passenger's seat and rolled his eyes as I started up the car. Lacey shimmied her way in and I took off out of the parking lot. When I finally reached my driveway Lacey got out of the car and swayed her hips all the way to the house.

"I'll call you later tonight." Edward said before stepping out of the car and walking over to the driver's side, helping me out.

"Okay, see you later." I said still holding his hands. Edward's eyes softened and all traces of humour fell from his face. Leaning down he delicately kissed my forehead and rested his chin on my head.

"Lacey may be a pain, but you're doing wonderfully Bella." He whispered before letting go of me and stepping into the Volvo. I waved as he pulled out and sped down the street, slugging my bag up higher on my shoulder I moved slowly into the house. Felling light headed and giddy, I walked into the kitchen.

"Bella," Lacey called from the living room, with a sigh I walked into the room and saw her sitting on the couch watching MTV. "Why are you always all over Edward?" She asked me.

"I'm not all over Edward." I told her completely stunned by her question.

"Don't play dumb honey, you're all over him and it's kind of pathetic watching you try and gain his attention." My mouth literally dropped open at her accusation.

"You think I'm the one all over him, look in the mirror _sweetie_." I sneered at her, before grabbing Pride & Prejudice from the couch and walking into the kitchen to read it. I wasn't sure why I reacted to Lacey's comment, I knew she was just jealous of Edward's and mine obvious friendship, or possibly envious of the way he paid attention to me. I shook my head slowly and opened my book, waiting for Edwrad to call.

My house quickly became oddly quiet, my aunt had called earlier saying she wasn't going to make it home and Lacey was no longer gossiping on the phone with Jessica. The clock above the television read 7:00pm and I placed my book on the ground becoming nervous and worried as the seconds ticked by. Edward said he would call tonight and still no phone call. By 7:30 I was getting tired and realized Edward wasn't going to call. Pulling myself off the chair I walked slowly to the bathroom and had a quick shower before I went to bed. Walking to my room I saw Lacey leaning over my dresser and looking in the mirror as she applied make-up to her face.

"Going out?" I asked as I rifled through my drawers for a clean pair of pajamas.

"Yes, Edward is taking me to Port Angeles to see the late show." She told me while smiling sweetly.

"Oh," I said before grabbing my pajamas and moving swiftly from the room and straight to the bathroom, unable to be in the same room as her. My heart dropped to my stomach at her words, Edward chose Lacey over me. That thought ran rampant around my head, dizziness settled on me and I leaned heavily against the shower to stop everything from spinning. I slowly changed into my pajamas trying hard not to fall over.

My feet seemed surprisingly heavy as I trudged my way back to my room. An unnatural light was visible through a break in my curtain and I moved slowly forward to look outside. The Volvo was sitting in the driveway, Edward visible through the wind shield. I felt something rear up in me as Lacey skipped to the passenger's door. I wanted to rip her smile from her make-up caked face, pull every strand of her product filled black hair from her head.

I shook my head quickly trying to get the violent thoughts from my head, she didn't even deserve a thought. I had never been a violent person but watching Lacey lean towards Edward in the Volvo and play with his silky hair, made me feel the need to break every one of her fingers that touched him. Slowly I stepped back from the window, fearful of the feelings that ran through me as I watched Lacey and Edward.

My back hit the wall and I slid down it, feeling the pressure of too many emotions finally crashing down. My body shook violently with conflicting emotions, latching my arms around my knees I tried to physically hold myself together. The tears escaped from my eyes and I cried out of anguish, anger and betrayal. I'd lost everyone I loved in a grand total of three and a half weeks. I'd lost the closest person to me heart in only a week to a witch, those thoughts made the tears fall faster down my face, stinging my eyes. I was unsure of how long I sat curled on the floor in my room, but eventually I pulled myself together and heaved myself off the floor, stumbling towards the bed. Soon my body and mind became too exhausted and I fell into a restless sleep, only to be awoken by a soft tapping that sounded around the room.

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**Don't hate me!!**

**LilyAlice**


	10. Breathe

**Your reviews inspired me and I realized I couldn't be mean and leave you with such a horrible ending. You should know you're all to blame if I get a bad mark on my Essay.**

_Breathe - Faith Hill_

Blinking rapidly to wake myself up I looked around the room searching for the source of the noise. Pushing my sleepy body up, I saw a shadow in my window. My heart beating frantically I picked up my book preparing to use it if needed. Slowly inching my way towards the window the shadow started to take the shape of a body. Peering out the window I saw a mass of messy bronze hair and two piercing green eyes that sparkled in the little light of the night. Letting out a sigh of relief, I placed my book on the ground knowing I wasn't going to need it anymore.

Pushing up the window I glanced at Edward and stepped out of the way granting him entrance. Edward jumped lithely through the open window landing quietly on the floor, a plastic bag rustling at his side. I placed my hands on my hips and stared angrily at my best friend, what excuse could he possibly come up with that would make me forgive him?

"What are you doing here?" I hissed angrily under my breath. I noticed Edward flinch back from my harsh tone, confusion and sadness in his eyes. I instantly felt guilty for snapping but I deserved to know what was going on.

"I brought you cough medicine and chicken noodle soup." Out of all the answers I thought he would give that was definitely not one of them. I stared dumbfounded at Edward and the plastic bag in his hand before walking back over to my bed and sitting down, too tired to stand any longer and needing a little bit longer to get my thoughts sorted out.

"Why would I need soup and cough medicine?" I finally asked my voice weak with exhaustion.

"Because you're sick," He stated in a tone that questioned my sanity. "I brought you some cough syrup and Esme made you some chicken noodle soup that I was to bring over."

"I'm not sick." I told him, too confused to make sense of anything.

"You're not?" He asked setting the bag on the ground and sitting beside me.

"I'm not." I confirmed shaking my head.

"Lacey said you were…" Edward's voice faded as everything clicked into place and we both stared at each other with shocked expressions. I slowly began to giggle, the hysteria coming on. I had cried myself to sleep over Edward, thinking he betrayed me when really we were both just fooled by a overly hormonal girl. Edward's hand quickly clamped over my mouth stifling the giggles that wouldn't stop. Keeping his hand firmly clamped over my mouth he helped me stand up and get down the stairs so I wouldn't wake up my family.

"What is so funny Bella?" He asked when we were seated comfortably on my couch and my giggles had ceased.

"I thought you were dating Lacey." I told him, ducking my head under his arm in embarrassment. Edward softly chuckled and pulled me closer.

"You were jealous?" He asked in a smug voice. Pulling away from him I glared.

"I was not jealous I was angry that you would betray me like that." I told him, knowing I wasn't being truthful. Deep down I began to realize that I was jealous; I hated seeing him with anyone else other than me, I hated the way girls would look at him and the way he would laugh along with some.

"I would never do anything to betray you." He whispered pulling me back into his arms and I believed him, who couldn't believe him when sincerity rang in every word he spoke.

"I forgot to eat dinner could you pass me the soup?" I asked breaking the comfortable silence, with a soft chuckle he handed me the bowl of soup, and it was still warm in my hands.

"I guess you were hungry." Edward commented as I gobbled the soup up.

I ignored his comment and asked him the question that had been on my mind. "Esme made me this soup and said you could bring it over right?" I asked Edward nodded, before taking my spoon from my hands and tasting the soup.

"Do your parents know where you are right now?" I asked wondering if Esme would actually let her son out in the middle of the night.

"Yes I asked and my mother said I could come." He informed me. "Since it wasn't a school night." He added with a chuckle. I stared at him searching for a trace that he was lying, there was none. I was slightly dumbfounded, wondering why Esme would let her son out so late, but I was too content and tired to think much of it.

"Good." I answered and snuggled deeper into his chest after I placed the empty soup bowl on the table.

"Go to sleep Bella, dream happy dreams." Edward whispered in my ear and began to rub my back in a soothing pattern. Due to the late hour and fatigue I fell asleep nearly instantly, but not before I muttered one last thing.

"My dreams are always happy if I have my angel with me." I mumbled in my sleep induced state. I woke up to the sound of birds chirping outside the window. Opening my eyes slowly I noticed that Edward and I had moved during the night. We were now positioned horizontally across the couch, Edward's left arm wrapped securely around my waist. Edward's eyes were still closed and his breathing was slow and relaxed, I could hear the steady beating of his heart near my ear. Edward's face was peaceful and beautiful when he slept, his bronze locks falling into his closed eyes. Smiling I pushed his hair out of his face and kissed his cheek, waking him up.

"Good morning to you to." Edward murmured as his green eyes opened, surveying my face. I started to feel me skin heat up under his gaze and I wanted to melt into his body.

"I want to go see Alice and Esme." I said suddenly jumping out of Edward's arms, scared of what I was feeling. It wasn't the feelings that worried me it was the person the feelings were directed to.

"Okay go change into some clothes." He told me and I bounded quickly up the stairs. Grabbing a pair of jeans and a comfy T-shirt and hastily throwing them on, I ran back down the stairs. On the last step my foot, unfortunately, caught and I started to fall forward only to find myself in Edward's strong and capable arms.

"Slow down there Bella." He said laughing freely at me as he steady me on my feet.

"Sorry." I mumbled blushing.

"Just be more careful next time." He said brushing his hand along my cheek, his face completely serious. "I wouldn't want to lose you to a staircase." He chuckled at his own joke; I scowled at him and smack his arm before walking toward the car. The drive to the Cullen's house was filled with the beautiful sounds of Debussy and Edward's soft humming. Stepping out of the Volvo I saw Alice open the front door and run towards me an excited expression on her face.

"Are you sleeping over?" She asked not even saying hello.

"Umm, I …don't know." I answered slightly confused by the look in Alice's eyes; her blue eyes sparkled with triumph and excitement.

"Edward, make your best friend stay over." Alice said turning to her brother with her small hands on her hips.

"Bella please stay for the night." He said to me his green eyes penetrating mine, my thoughts and the ability to speak seemed to melt away the longer he held my gaze and all I could do was nod my head.

"Excellent." Alice said smiling while she looked between Edward and me. "Edward, make sure there's room in your room for her." Alice said still smiling mischievously. I looked over at Edward to see if he knew what was going on with Alice but he just shrugged his shoulders and grabbed my hand.

"Movie night tonight," Alice announced before moving swiftly upstairs.

"Have I ever told you that your sister is strange?" I asked Edward

"Yes, but it still holds true." Edward said before Esme walked into the living room.

"How are you feeling Bella?" She asked coming forward to check my forehead for a temperature.

"I'm fine it was just a misunderstanding." I said, blushing a deep red as Edward laughed.

"Oh, well that's good." Esme said with furrowed brows. "Lunch is going to be ready soon; I hope you're up for French toast and pancakes." She informed us her hazel eyes sparkling.

"Have I ever told you how much I love your mother?" I asked Edward when Esme turned around the corner. With a loud laugh Edward shook his and pulled me up the spiral stair case. I let my hand trail along the silky wood banister as I moved up the stairs, feeling like I was truly back home.

Edward's hand was warm against mine and his breathtaking smile was undeniably evident on his face. Watching Edward I felt my heart lighten, a smile graced my lips and I felt like laughing along with him. Edward had been my best friend for so long that I never gave a second thought to the feelings I had for him, but when I stopped to think I felt something deeper then friendship for him, something more demanding. _Love._ The word entered my head uncontrolled and against my will. I stopped moving and became instantly tense; I could feel Edward tense along with me as he moved closer to me worried for me. I hardly noticed Edward talking to me, trying to draw me from my closed off state. Was I in love with Edward?

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**Shame on all of you who doubted Edward! I would never put him with Lacey, that would ruin the story.**

**I hope this chapter makes up for being mean in the last one and I hope the people who hated me forgive me.**

**LilyAlice**


	11. Falling in Love

**This chapter took me awhile to write and I'm not sure why, so if isn't up to par I'm sorry. I just have to say you reviewers and readers are amazing, I really mean that. I got over 50 REVIEWS last chapter, it helped me get through my essay.**

_Falling in Love - Falling Up_

"Bella," Edward said his voice full of panic. I tried hard to push those thoughts to the back of my head, it just wouldn't happen. Of course I loved Edward, he was my best friend. _He's more than that_, the snide little voice in my head told me. I wished I could argue back with the snide voice, but sadly it was right. The conviction of the truth struck me hard and I gasped in shock. Who wouldn't love Edward? He was perfect in every aspect of the word, somedays he was beyond perfect I felt insignificant and unworthy. With a small smile I accepted my feelings, finally, after god knows how long, I accepted how I felt for Edward.

Pulling myself from my thoughts I felt Edward's hands on my cheeks his nose only centimeters from mine. My surroundings slowly came back into focus and I realized we were still standing on the top of the stairs.

"Bella," Edward said again his voice strained. I looked into his eyes and saw the worry I could hear in his voice.

"I'm fine I just had a…epiphany…I think." I told him as much as I could without giving it away. I don't think I could handle the rejection I would get if Edward found out about my feelings for him.

"What was it about?" He asked curiously, like I knew he would.

"That's for me to know and for you to find out." I whispered in his ear before walking towards his room, my legs shaking slightly.

"Wow, slow down Bella." Edward said before grabbing my hips with his hands. "You're going to fall if you don't slow down." I felt his warm breath against my neck, raising the small hairs and making me shiver. I felt a warmth spreading through my veins from the place on my hips his hands were holding. Without warning Edward picked me up and cradled me to his chest before walking the rest of the way to his room.

"I can walk." I told him.

"I know you can but you don't walk well." He said laughing, I felt his chest vibrate and I leaned my head against his shoulder enjoying the warmth. I smiled when he placed me gently on his bed and walked over to his stereo system.

"What would you like to listen to?" He asked turning back around to face me.

"Anything," I replied spreading myself across his bed. I listened closely when I heard the CD player start to spin and let out a soft laugh when I heard Beethoven fill the room. Opening my eyes I saw Edward standing over me a small smile on his lips, his green eyes full of mischief. I sat up and cocked my head at him, worried slightly at what was on his mind.

"Can I have this dance my lady?" Edward asked extending his right hand for me. Smiling I placed my hand in his hand and allowed him to pull me up from the bed. Laying my hand delicately on his shoulder a placed my body in the waltz position. Edward's hand rested softly on my lower back and he squeezed my hand.

"You do know a waltz is in three/four time?" I asked Edward as he took a step back forcing me to move forward.

"I actually do know that, I guess we'll just have to make do with this." He whispered in my ear as we box stepped around his room.

"I never did ask you, how was school?" Edward asked as he spun me effortlessly away from his body before drawing me back into the enclosure of his arms.

"It was fine, slow but fine." I told him my hand tightening on his shoulder when he took a sharp turn. I scowled at him as he lifted me up and placed me back down on my feet. I managed to step on his foot only three times in the whole dance. The soft melody drifted to a stop, but Edward wanted to finish off big. I didn't even notice what he was doing until I was dipped back, one of his arms around my waist the other one supporting my head, my hair sweeping gently against his carpeted floor.

"You certainly know how to sweep a girl off her feet." I told him sarcastically as he straightened back up, pulling me with him.

"Some days Bella," He said sighing before walking back over to his sound system and turning it off. I watched Edward carefully as he walked away and I noticed something different about the way he moved, it wasn't as fluid or graceful, his moves were tense and stiff.

"What's wrong Edward?" I asked knowing there was something he wasn't telling me. Turning around me met my stare with a wide smile.

"Why would anything be wrong?" He asked walking back towards me when he finished switching the CD to Linkin Park.

"You may be a good actor Edward, but you cannot fool me." I told him sternly crossing my arms across my chest. I watched as Edward's eyes flickered to my face and then quickly dropped to the floor.

"Alice was upset last night and it's making me tense." He told me finally surrendering. My eyebrows furrowed as I processed his words, Alice being sad was something to be tense about.

"What happened?" I asked curiously.

"A misunderstanding," He answered a little too quickly, but I decided to let it go, knowing by Edward's tone I wouldn't get the answer out of him.

"Esme did say lunch was going to be ready soon didn't she?" I asked changing the subject befreo lying back across the bed.

"Yes, she'll call us though." I closed my eyes and felt the bed shift under Edward's weight, my body rolled slightly to the right as Edward lay down. Without opening my eyes I knew Edward was staring at ceiling his hands folded softly on his stomach, something he did so often when he was deep in thought. I clenched my hands together fighting the sudden, but very desperate, urge to hold his hand. Sensing my distress Edward reached out and grabbed my hand, as if reading my mind. My eyes shot open at the contact, but I didn't reject it I loved it; unconsciously I shifted closer to his warm body, enjoying the feeling of his heat.

"Cold?" Edward asked in a soft melodic tone. I could feel my face heat up at being caught, words not forming in my head I only nodded, unable to think of a better excuse. Gently Edward wrapped his arms around my body and pulled me against his chest. I felt my heart explode at his chest and I tried my hardest to keep the silly grin from my face.

I knew I had been in love with Edward for awhile now, but consciously knowing about my own feelings was so much more demanding then unconsciously knowing about it. Thinking back to every time Edward would reach for my hand or stroke my back I would get a strange but happy feeling in the core of my chest, a more condensed version of what I was feeling now. I relaxed against his chest and sighed contently, feeling perfectly at ease for the first time in 3 and a half weeks.

"Kids, lunch." Esme called up the stairs; slowly I extracted myself from Edward's arms and walked down the stairs towards the delicious smelling food. In the kitchen I found Alice sitting happily on Jaspers lap feeding him an apple slice dipped in caramel, I laughed when the caramel dripped and fell on his chin. Esme was busy in front of the stove watching the bacon cooking and humming a happy tune.

"Hey." I said when I sat down across from Alice and Jasper.

"Hey Bella, what movie do you want to watch tonight?" Alice asked looking at me as Jasper's hands rested on her shoulders.

"Star Wars: Return of the Jedi." I said remembering how much I loved that movie when I was little.

"I remember watching that with you." Edward said as he sat beside me placing his hand over mine in a friendly gesture. I felt my heart react and I grinned at him. "Didn't you have a crush on Luc Skywalker?" He asked teasingly.

"No, that was Alice; she always had a thing for the tall, handsome, blonds." I said smiling at little Alice, Alice grinned back and looked lovingly at Jasper.

"It's my fatal flaw." She said kissing his cheek, with a grin on her face.

"Not when I'm eating." Emmett groaned as he walked into the kitchen to see Alice and Jasper kissing. "You're a cool man Jasper, but that's my sister." Emmett said glaring at Jasper.

"Your sister who is eighteen years old and doesn't need a big brother to be annoying, couldn't you be more like Edward?" Alice asked cocking her head at Emmett a devilish grin on her angelic face.

"Yes sweet, sensitive, caring Edward." Emmett said in a mocking tone, Emmett's jeering of Edward got me slightly angry for a reason I didn't seem to understand. Emmett always made fun of Edward for being such a gentleman to everyone, why did it bug me now that he was teasing him?

"Be nice to Edward, Emmett or you'll have me to deal with." I told Emmett taking a bite of my croissant. Looking up I saw Alice looking at me with her happy all knowing look.

"Sorry Bella." Emmett mumbled to me before stacking his plate with food.

"Bella, can I talk to you in the living room?" Alice asked getting up from Jasper's lap. I stood up slowly and followed her out, shooting Edward a 'help me' expression, Edward only chuckled and shrugged. With slumped shoulders I followed Alice into the living room.

"You finally figured out you're in love with Edward." Were the first words out of Alice's mouth, I sighed but nodded, not really wanting to talk to Alice about my love for her brother.

"I knew it since you were both fifteen it was so obvious…to everyone but you two…" I could hear Alice rambling on about our obliviousness to our feelings. I didn't pay attention to her I was too focused on what she said 'to everyone but you two' did that mean Edward also liked me? Was I not alone in this?

"Alice." I said holding up my hands for her to stop talking. "Did you say Edward also liked me?" I asked her, a tiny sliver of hope blossoming in my chest.

"Yes!" Alice yelled throwing her hands up in the air in exasperation. Alice raised voice alerted the boys in the kitchen of our conversation and Jasper and Edward ran into the living room both looking worried.

"Is everything okay?" Jasper asked Alice walking to her side and placing his hands on her shoulders.

"Yes, I was just trying to get a point across." She said smiling sweetly at Jasper. I looked over to see Edward looking between Alice and me, looking more confused then I'd ever seen him. Laughter erupted from my throat, making me double over, I couldn't help it, he looked too adorable when he was confused. How could I not to laugh at him?

"Do you find something amusing Bella?" Edward whispered in my ear when my giggles had slowed. His breath ticked my neck and I shivered in delight.

"Yes, your face." I answered, only realizing how rude my comment actually was when Emmett's booming laughter filled the room.

"I didn't mean it like that." I said, horrified. I looked into Edward's eyes hoping he would forgive me.

"Bella its fine," He told me soothingly, before scowling at his brother. A knock on the door made us all turn our heads.

"Who could that be?" Emmett asked walking towards the door. "I mean everyone who comes over here is already here." He added opening the door. I looked up in confusion at the stunning blond haired girl who stood in the Cullen's doorway.

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**I Hope you guys like this chapter! I'm just developing Bella's feelings and showing progress in her moods. I bet you all know who's at the door.**

**Edward's POV for chapter nine is up if you didn't already know that!**

**LilyAlice**


	12. Better Than Love

**Thank you for your wonderful reviews, I say this everytime but it's true you people are AMAZING!**

_Better than love - Griffin House_

Emmett stood holding the door open slack jawed and wide eyed, at a complete loss for words. The girl wore a tight pair of light blue jeans that sheathed her long skinny legs and a form fitting red sweater, her blond hair was swept back in a very elegant, sleek pony tail. Her blue eyes were bright against her pale skin and were framed by flawless lashes.

"Hello." The girl said in a sultry voice staring at Emmett.

"Hello." Emmett whispered back his voice husky, looking at Alice we both placed are hands over our mouths, stifling the giggles as we watched Emmett at a loss for words at the sight of a girl, something that never happened.

"Is Esme home?" She asked politely.

"Esme an angel's here for you." Emmett called in his oh so smooth way. Esme ran into the living room and took one look at the girl before running over to hug her.

"Rosalie!" Esme said in excitement. "It's been too long." The blond girl named Rosalie smiled, and my self confidence took a nose dive. I looked between Rosalie and Esme confused as to what was going on, looking at Edward he only shrugged the same confused look on his face.

"I know, but school called." She replied laughing as Esme hugged her again.

"Oh, I'm being rude." Esme said taking a step back from Rosalie. "Rose, this is my family." She said sweeping her hand across us all. "That's my son Edward and his best friend Bella." I waved at Rosalie and she smiled warmly back, Edward nodded but went back to stroking my hand. "My daughter, Alice and her boyfriend Jasper," Esme continued pointing to Alice and Jasper. Alice bounded over and hugged Rosalie, to Rosalie's great surprise.

"Were going to be great friends," Alice said to Rosalie and went back to Jasper's side. Sensing Rosalie's confusion Jasper stepped in.

"Alice has the uncanny ability to know the future. She said I would be her boyfriend, when we met." Rosalie nodded in understanding and turned to face the only unnamed Cullen.

"And this is my other son Emmett." Esme said pointing to Emmett.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Rosalie." Emmett said giving her one of his warmest smiles.

"I think Emmett's in love." I whispered in Edward's ear in a sarcastic tone and he chuckled quietly at that nodding his head.

"What is all the commotion?" Carlisle said as he walked into the living room.

"Hello Carlisle." Rosalie said sweetly.

"Rosalie, it's been too long." He said with a smile. "But what brings you here; last I heard you were studying mechanics at university." Carlisle said my confusion mounting.

"Mom, before this goes any further, how do you know her?" Edward finally asked, not liking to be out of the loop.

"Rosalie is…was your grandparent's foster child for five years." Esme told us. "I'm being very rude today, Rosalie would you like to sit down and we can talk." Rosalie nodded and she took a seat on the couch, the rest of us positioned ourselves around her so we could hear her talk, Emmett sitting right beside her.

"Five years?" Emmett asked in surprise. "And we're only learning about her now?" Emmett asked looking at his parents.

"No, we mentioned her before, but you kids have other things to think about. Emmett you were too focused on your jeep and studies, Edward was too focused on Bella and studies and Alice…" But Esme was interrupted by Alice.

"I listened," Alice piped up. "You said nana and papa got a foster child who was from a broken home." Alice smiled apologetically at Rosalie before continuing. "You said she was a bright girl with a bright future and that they loved her." Alice said happily. I felt Edward chuckle beside me at Alice's proud expression.

"So what brings you here?" Esme asked with furrowed brows.

"Your parents actually," Rosalie said her voice subdued and sad.

"What happened?" Esme said quickly panic in her voice; Carlisle quickly wrapped his arms around her.

"They're not doing so good, Beth is suffering from a fractured hip after falling down the stairs and George has fallen ill again." Rosalie said sadly, before composing her expression and looking up at Carlisle. "I've taken so many days off school I'm falling behind and I need help taking care of them."

"Why don't we talk about this is my office?" Carlisle said quickly standing up and motioning for Rosalie and Esme to follow him. Esme stood up quickly and Rosalie followed with slight hesitation. I looked over at Edward and Alice to see them wearing the same confused but sad expression.

"I'm sure your grandparents are going to be fine." I whispered in Edward's ear, he smiled at me but it didn't touch his eyes and I shivered from fear of what was going to happen. Something was going to change and I knew in my heart it would.

"We have the rest of the afternoon to do something before movie night, any suggestions?" Alice asked trying to keep her normal cheerful enthusiasm but something was terribly off and I knew Jasper noticed to, for he threw her a loaded look, which she ignored purposefully.

"Why don't we go down to La Push beach?" Emmett suggested. I looked at Emmett in disbelief, only Emmett would suggest going to a beach in November.

"Emmett, you do know it's November?" I asked him slowly.

"Well of course I know that, I just wanted to go through a Frisbee or football around." That didn't sound too bad and hanging out with Alice, Emmett, Edward and Jasper at once was always fun.

"I'll go, but only if Emmett and Edward promise not to throw me in the lake." I said glaring at both the boys who found it fun to play 'throw Bella in the water, even when it's cold and she's freezing'.

"I promise to not throw you in the lake." Edward said with his hand over his heart, but by the tone in his voice I knew he found a loophole in my promise.

"I promise." Emmett said smiling evilly at Alice.

"Okay to the beach it is, everyone get in Edward's Volvo." Alice said hopping up.

"Wait why don't we take two cars?" Emmett asked looking slightly nervous, a look I had never seen on Emmett's face. "I mean what if Rosalie wants to come?" Emmett asked, Alice laughed looking at her brother before nodding her head.

"Okay Edward and Bella get the Volvo and the rest of us will take Emmett's jeep." Alice said grabbing Jasper's hand and pulling him towards the door.

"I'll go see if Rosalie wants to come." Emmett said before walking up the stairs.

"Your brothers got it bad." I said to Edward when Emmett was out of hearing range.

"That he does." Edward said back looking straight into my eyes. I found it incredibly hard to look away so I didn't. I felt a strange pull to Edward, a feeling of electricity that seemed to pull us together. I see Edward's face coming closer and his hands rested warmly on my arms pulling me towards him.

"Guys Rosalie said she'd come." Emmett's voice boomed from the top of the stairs and I jumped up from the ground, ripping Edward's hands from my arms.

"That's great, where is she?" I asked feeling my cheeks heat up.

"She'll be down in a minute." Emmett answered looking at me curiously. Turning around I saw Edward looking up at me in embarrassment before standing up by my side and grabbing my hand, assuring me that everything was fine.

"We'll meet you four at the beach." Edward told his brother before towing me out to the car. I moved quickly to the car wanting to get to where the heat was. When Edward entered the car he saw me shivering.

"You wanted to go." Edward pointed out as I reached for the heat when he turned on the car.

"I know." I told him reaching for the radio. "You got any good CDs in here?" I asked him as he weaved his way down the driveway.

"Yes, all my music's good." Edward said in a smug tone, rolling my eyes I picked out the burned CD that read 'Bella' across the front in permanent marker.

"What songs are on here?" I asked never seeing the CD before.

"All the songs you say you love." He replied simply. Putting the CD in the player I turned it on and smiled when The Spill Canvas's Lullaby came on. Leaning back into the leather seat I closed my eyes and allowed the heat and the music to surround me.

"We're here Bella." Edward whispered before opening the door and blasting me with cold air. I grumbled quietly as I walked beside Edward down towards the beach. I slipped twice while walking towards the beach both times Edward caught me and set me gently on my feet.

"Bella sometimes I wonder if you have a disorder." Edward said randomly, I looked at him in shocked silence. "You always seem to fall, is it an inner ear problem?" He asked turning his head slightly so he could grin at me. Scowling I smacked his arm and stomped away.

"Are you tired of catching me?" I asked him over my shoulder, while I looked at him I lost my footing and felt my feet slip out from underneath me.

"No," He said laughing as his arms supported me. "You provide me a job." He chuckled gently swinging my body into his arms. "And exercise." He said with a crooked smile.

"You must get tired of carrying me?" I asked him as we walked towards the drift wood.

"No, you're warm." He said simply before sitting down on a piece of driftwood, keeping me in his lap. I smiled and placed my cold nose against his collar bone laughing when I felt him shiver.

"It's beautiful isn't it?" I said looking out at the rolling waves, crashing against the rocks and the shore.

"Yes and very dangerous." He replied his voice harsh. Looking up at him I saw his green eyes clouded over in pain. Suddenly I knew he was remembering the last time we were here, the last time the waves crashed with such force against the rock.

"I'm sorry." I told him touching his cheek. I truely was sorry for causing him any kind of pain.

"It was stupid." He said looking down at me, his eyes blazing as he gripped my waist tightly.

"I know."

"I don't understand why you would resort to suicide." Edward said his voice pained but his eyes questioning.

"I didn't mean too," I started and held up my hands when he opened his mouth. "I just needed to get away, at first, but looking down at the waves I wanted to be submerged, I wanted to forget, to feel numb." I whispered to him, remembering the strange mix of feelings I felt that night.

"You could have come to me Bella; I was always there for you, I will always be here for you." I nodded and thankfully the topic was dropped. A distant noise sounded to my right and I turned around to see our other four friends walking down the path to the driftwoods.

"Hey." Alice called and ran over taking a seat across from us, Jasper right behind her laughing.

"Hello." I said from Edward's lap.

"Don't you two look cozy?" Emmett replied sitting down beside Rosalie. I stuck my tongue out at Emmett and he rolled his eyes. "So mature Bella." I shrugged and he laughed.

"So Rosalie, tell us about you," Emmett said turning to the beautiful blond beside him.

"Well I'm studying to become a mechanic at college." She said looking at Emmett. "How about you?"

"I'm taking half a year off to decide what I want to do with my life." Rosalie nodded and looked out at the ocean.

"How old are you?" Rosalie asked us all.

"Alice and Jasper are both eighteen, Edward and Bella are both seventeen and I'm nineteen." Emmett spoke up for all of us. I looked over at Alice and she rolled her eyes before mouthing 'he's in love', I snickered and looked back at Rosalie, who seemed completely engrossed in Emmett as much as he was with her.

"Anyone want to play Frisbee?" Edward asked. I nodded along with Alice and Jasper.

"Let's get this started, what are the teams?" Emmett asked.

"Bella, Alice and I stick you three." Edward said with a wicked smile.

"It's your funeral." Emmett said smiling at the teams, obviously thinking his team was going to win based on size and muscle. I turned to Alice and we smiled giving each other a high five. And soon our heated game of Ultimate Frisbee began. My team quickly weaved and ducked into first place, Emmett was all power and no skill. The game was over faster than I thought possible, Alice, Edward and me winning 50 to 39. I hugged Alice before jumping on Edward's back.

"You cheated." Emmett pouted as Rosalie and Jasper laughed at him.

"Yes Emmett we cheated." I told him rolling my eyes as I kissed Edward's head. "Good job." I whispered in his ear.

"Thank you." He whispered back holding my legs up so I didn't slip down.

"Are you all dating?" Rosalie asked looking from Alice to me.

"No just Alice and Jasper." Edward said with a laugh. I tried keeping my smile genuine but I could feel it slipping from my face at what Edward said, he sounded as if the idea of us dating was amusing. I quickly hopped off his back and went back to the driftwood, trying not to let Alice or Edward see my face. Everyone soon followed me and we started a fire in the middle of a grouping of branches. As the fire started too really heat up I saw a group of natives walking towards us across the beach. They were extremely tall and extremely built. I watched them carefully as they approached our group; there were four of them all smiling as they neared.

"Hello." The tallest of them said his voice husky. There was something about him that made me smile; maybe it was his smile or the way his dark eyes sparkled.

"Hello." I said back smiling.

"Do you mind if we join you?" He asked me, I shook my head and waved my hand at the empty branches. The tall boy walked over and sat on my other side.

"I'm Jacob." He said extending his hand for me.

"Bella," I replied shaking his hand. I saw Jacob look pass me at Edward and a slow grin appeared on his face.

"Edward." I heard Edward say in a cold voice, my head turned sharply to look at him. Edward's emerald eyes were dark and it worried me. Reaching up I placed my arm on his forearm hoping to get rid of the dark look in his eyes.

"That's Embry, Quil and Paul." Jacob pointed out his friends all scattered around the fire. "So, Bella what brings you down to La Push? The scenery?" He asked.

"No, we wanted to play Ultimate Frisbee." I told him, trying to keep my smile on my face but I knew it wasn't genuine, I could still feel Edward's tension and it was making me nervous.

"Are you by any chance Bella Swan?" Jacob asked looking in my eyes.

"Yes, why?" I was now officially curious.

"Your father and mine used to go fishing and they stuck us together." I stared at him for a second working on keeping my pain down. Edward already sensing my distress put his arms around me and pulled me closer to his side. With a deep breath I controlled myself and turned back to Jacob.

"I remember you always wanted to go with them." I said remembering the small Jacob I once knew. I looked over and saw Alice pointing to her watch.

"Well it was nice seeing you again but I really have to go, it's dinner time." I said to Jacob and stood up, Edward following.

"It was nice to see you, have a good dinner, I hope to see you again." Jacob said smiling. I smiled back and walked back the way we came. The further we got away from Jacob and his friends the calmer Edward became.

"Are you okay?" I asked him when we reached the Volvo. He smiled once at me before brushing my hair out of my face.

"I am now." His voice was low, muted velvet. I smiled at him and turned my face towards his hand, savoring the warmth.

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**There another chapter down, lots more to go! Remember to tell me what you think, be glad there was no Lacey but there was Jacob**

**LilyAlice**


	13. Stolen

**Thank you again for your reviews!**

_Stolen - Dashboard Confessional_

The ride back to the Cullen's was short lived and when we got there Esme was cooking Spaghetti in the kitchen, the strong smell of garlic and tomato sauce was in the air. Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie showed up a couple of minutes after Edward and me due to his insane driving,

"Dinner," Esme said as she walked into the living room, where we were all watching Edward and Jasper play a rousing game of scrabble, with words only from The Beatles. I ate my plate of spaghetti fast, loving how good the warm sauce felt running down my throat. Emmett was already on his third bowl of spaghetti when I finally finished mine.

"Rosalie you'll just have to stay with Alice tonight." Esme said.

"That's fine." Rosalie said smiling at Esme, before talking to Emmett. I looked over to find Alice and Edward in a deep conversation about who was the worst person in Across the Universe. Alice was fighting saying it was Lucy, because she abandoned Jude and her life revolved around the revolution. Edward was fighting saying it was Jude because he didn't believe in Lucy and stick by her side. Emmett and Rosalie were having a heated debate about what engine would be best for his jeep and Esme and Carlisle were whispering intensely about something. Jasper and I were the only ones who weren't talking with someone; instead we focused on how they acted and who was winning the debates.

"I think Alice is going to win." I whispered to Jasper as we watched the two siblings argue.

"No, Edward has this one won." Jasper said shaking his head. Sure enough Alice pouted and looked away from Edward who smiled triumphantly, before taking a bite of his spaghetti.

"I guess you were right." I whispered back.

"Usually am." Jasper replied smugly.

"What are you two whispering about?" Edward asked looking between Jasper and I.

"You and Alice," I said smiling before picking up my plate and carrying it to the dishwasher, leaving Edward looking confused.

"Movie time," Alice said excitedly and she bounced over to the living room to throw on Star Wars. Jasper followed obediently behind her. Emmett laughed, and he and Rosalie went into the living room, still arguing about the best engine.

"What movie are you watching?" Esme asked, coming over to my side at the dishwasher.

"Star Wars," I told her excitedly.

"Would you mind if we joined." I shook my head and Esme, Carlisle, Edward and I walked into the living room. I ran and jumped on to the couch getting excited as the music started up and the title started to scroll by.

"Bella it's just a movie." Edward whispered to me as I stared intently at the screen.

"One of the best movies ever produced." I told him before crossing my legs and sitting on them. The movie went well into the night and I started to feel exhausted, my eyelids were closing and my head was drooping. I wasn't sure when I fell asleep it must have been sometime between the breach of the power station and the fight between Luke and Darth Vader.

I woke to the sound of voices arguing in hushed tones. Opening my sleep covered eyes I saw a light coming from the kitchen where I heard Edward, Alice and Esme talking with Carlisle.

"I need to take the job at California Pacific that way we can be there for your grandparents and I can help pay their medical bills." I heard Carlisle say. I gasped quietly when I heard those words. Carlisle was telling them they were moving to California to help with their grandparents. Slowly I crept closer to the kitchen hoping to catch more of the conversation. My heart beating fast.

"It's only for a little while." Esme whispered and I was becoming aware of my breathing as it became ragged and erratic. Behind me I heard someone moving, turning around I saw Jasper sitting on the couch with what I thought was the same pained expression I had on my face. Our eyes met and Jasper took a deep breath, before I watched him push his emotions behind his eyes, his face becoming a mask. I nodded to Jasper and he crept to my side. Together we walked into the kitchen and were met by four pairs of eyes all ranging in some form of sadness. I looked at Edward and he came to my side.

"Bella you need to calm down." Edward whispered in my ear his hands on my back.

"But you're leaving. How can I possibly calm down?" I said a little louder then I intended, I looked around the room and no one denied it. "You probably want to discuss the rest of this as a family; I'm heading off to bed." I informed them, my voice sounding dead, before moving stiffly out of Edward arms and towards the stairs. Moving slowly I walked towards the stairs and towards Edward's room, leaving pieces of me on the staircase.

"Give her time to cope." I heard Esme tell Edward.

"She doesn't need time," Edward said sadly. "She'll just push it away."

I moved robotically to Edward's room, opening the door I walked to the bed and curled up in the middle, trying my hardest not to be consumed by the time bomb of ticking emotions. My body shook violently from the effort but I fought through it. My body soon stopped shacking and the pain stabbing constantly into my heart, felt only like a pin needle now. Taking a deep breath I stood up from the bed and walked silently towards the bathroom, there I changed into my pajamas and walked back down stairs to say good night to everyone.

"Edward, we're so sorry." Esme said to her son, whose expression was unforgiving and dark, a terrifying expression to behold.

"I know your parents need our help." His tone was flat, void of any emotion and I felt my knees buckle under my breaking heart. I braced myself and walked slowly down the spiraled staircase, only one person in my sight. I didn't pay any attention to the other fasces in the room there was only one. I went to Edward's side and wrapped my arms tightly around him, wanting to feel the controlled calm I got when he was near me. His strong arms responded quickly and soon I was being held tightly to his chest, not even air between us. Slowly I pulled back to face the rest of the family, my emotions in control.

"I can't even picture you guys in California; I suggest not taking Alice to the beach, her pale skin will blind the Californians." I said trying my hardest to look at this positively, not everything was about me and the Cullen's needed to help someone else for once. I couldn't be their charity case forever.

"Bella!" Alice shrieked in mock hurt. "I'm not that pale." She muttered under her breath. I smiled meekly at her and sat down on the couch.

"When are you leaving?" I asked the one question that was gnawing painfully at my mind.

"In two weeks." Carlisle responded looking at me with a sad yet sympathetic look. I nodded and played with the hem of my pajama top.

"I hope your parents get better." I said to Esme. "I think I'm heading off to bed." I told the rest of them before walking back up the stairs.

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**Someone reviewed and said my last chapter was strongly like Foundations, thinking back on it, yes it had some similarities and I'm sorry to everyone who found that upsetting and I'm sorry to Ferrin Landry, I did not mean to rip off her work because she is amazing.**

**If it really is bugging anyone I will delete the chapter and re write it, but I can say this now the rest of the story is nothing like hers.**

**Bella does not get together with Jacob, I would never do that, Jacob was just a filler. My next chapter is what I've been waiting to write that changes how the story is going. Trust me its nothing like any other stories I've read. **

**And again Sorry but most fanfictions begin to sound the same after awhile sometimes.**

**If you still think I'm going to rip her off just PM me and I'll give away the story so you feel better.**

**I feel absolutely horrible, and I'm sorry! **

**LilyAlice.**

**P.S You are all allowed to hate me, trust me I hate myself right now!**


	14. Broken

**Thank you so much for your reviews, they mean alot to me. Agin I am so Sorry to Ferrin, the readers and the reviewers, I did not mean to rip off her CD idea and any others and I'm deeply sorry.**

**This is a sorta happy chapter, be proud! so without any further introduction.**

_Broken - Lifehouse_

I woke up the next day feeling completely drained and numb and having absolutely no idea why. Sitting up I looked around and noticed the gold curtains and the warm breathing body beside me. Realization hit me as hard as a brick wall and I dropped back down on the mattress, hitting it with a small _oomph._ I looked over to see Edward sleeping peacefully at my side, his bronze hair flopping into his perfect angelic face. I moved closer to Edward's warm body, wanting to be as close as possible to him.

I lay like that for awhile until I heard the soft creak of the door swinging open. Looking over I saw Alice creep into the room and smile apologetically before motioning for me to follow her. With a sigh I slowly sat up in the bed and hopped off trying not to disturb Edward's sleep. Looking back I saw him still sleeping peacefully a small smile on his face. I looked at Alice and she motioned for me to follow her to her room. I crept out of Edward's room and shut the door quietly.

"What Alice." I whispered as we walked towards her room. Looking at Alice I saw deep purple bruises under her eyes and her blue eyes seemed darker, sadder. I look I had never seen on Alice.

"I wanted to give you something that Esme and I put together last night." I looked at Alice quizzically, but still followed her. Alice's room was filled with her essence. The room was a soft crème with dark purple and maroon swirls running around the walls. Her bed was big and it sat in the middle of the room with a canopy of silk hanging down. Her dresser was covered in make-up and hair products and her closest was filled with clothes she adored. In one corner of her room was a cork board filled with drawings and ideas scribbled in her neat calligraphy. I followed Alice over to her desk where she picked up a huge scrap book.

"This is for you to keep. I'm not trying to make you sad, but I thought you would like this." Alice said to me before handing over the bulging book. The book was heavier than I thought and my arms collapsed a little under its weight.

"Where's Rosalie?" I asked her before opening up the book.

"She's downstairs eating breakfast with Esme and Jasper." Alice told me. "Now open it up." She said some of her excitement back in her voice. Opening the book I was met by a burst of colour and two little kids with their arms around each other smiling hugely up at me, I smiled and laughed weakly as I recognized Edward's green eyes and my messy brown hair. I blinked back tears as I flipped through all the colourful pictures of Edward and me as we grew up. Alice and I both laughed our heads off when I came to our thirteenth year, when Edward and I decided it would be super fun if we baked a batch of cookies. In short, flour covered the entire kitchen and chocolate chips scattered across the floor, egg and sugar stuck to the ceiling.

"I remember, you and Edward thought you used the blender not the mixers." Alice said between laughs. "I came home and saw you two trying desperately to clean up, but you were laughing too hard to get anything done." I smiled at the memory, remembering the look of surprise on Esme's face when she came home with groceries.

"I can even remember what Edward said to your mom." I told Alice remembering Edward's oh so innocent response.

"We wanted to make you cookies mommy." I heard Edward say from the doorway his voice rough from sleep but the same small smile on his lips. Alice looked between us before standing up. I smiled up at Edward, glad he remembered the funny memory.

"Well, I'm going to Jasper." She said excusing herself from the room. Edward walked in, only wearing his black pajama pants and sat beside me looking at the scrapbook.

"I remember you couldn't keep a straight face and started laughing as soon as I said that." He told me flashing me one of his crooked smiles.

"I couldn't help it; look how funny you look covered in flour." I told him pointing to the picture. Edward rolled his eyes and flipped the page and together we went through the last four years of our lives. Finally we came to the last picture, it was a candid picture of Edward and I lying on the grass in the backyard by the swing, our hands were intertwined and we were smiling at each other. Edward's green eyes were sparkling and I looked like I was about to start laughing. In the picture I could see the love I felt for Edward shining through me and I wondered ideally if he could see it too. Looking over I saw Edward staring intently at the picture before closing the book abruptly and placing it on Alice's bed.

"Let's go get something to eat." He told me grabbing my hand and pulling me up off the bed.

"Edward, I'm going to miss you like a drug addict misses heroin." I told him, knowing somehow that's what he wanted to hear.

"It's strange how you can sum up both our feelings in words." He told me, before pulling me closer and we walked down the stairs together, needing no other confessions of our feelings at that moment.

All the Cullen's and Rosalie were in the kitchen eating eggs and bacon that Esme cooked. I took a seat in one of the empty chairs and grabbed a piece of toast. Edward took a spot next to me and placed to eggs and a slice of bacon before handing it to me. Looking down I laughed when I saw the egg and bacon smiley face smiling back. Edward smiled before grabbing his own plateful of food.

"What's on the agenda for today?" Esme asked looking outside.

"Rosalie and I are going to play some online Halo 3." Emmett said smiling hugely, the sudden move not affecting him the way it affected the rest of us.

"I'm going to Jasper's house." Alice informed her parents looking down at her plate. I kicked Alice under the table, surprising her, she looked up. I gave her a knowing look; Jasper's parents were away for the rest of the week in New York for their 25 year anniversary. Alice smiled sheepishly her cheeks turning a faint pink. I saw Edward shudder beside me before glaring at Jasper. I smiled sadly, I was going to miss the silent communication I could have with the Cullen's, I was going to miss the Cullen's. My heart ached already and they were beside me, I didn't want to think about how much it would hurt when they were actually gone.

"Edward, Bella, what about you two?" Esme asked looking at us.

"I'm going to get Edward to come back home with me and he's going to help me with my Calculus." I said smiling at Edward. Edward grabbed my bacon and flipped it upside down so the face was frowning. Picking up the bacon I ate it, grinning at Edward.

"You can play Halo if you would like Edward." Emmett offered to Edward.

"No, its okay Emmett, Bella needs as much help as she can get." He said in his teasing tone.

"No, I'm sure Edward wants to go to my house so he can see Lacey." I shot back before standing up and placing my plate on the counter. Turning back around, I saw Edward looking at me with a hurt expression.

"No, I'm going to your house because it's where you will be." Edward answered standing up and walking up the stairs. I followed him with my eyes before turning to face Alice and Esme, who were both looking at me sadly.

"I'm definitely missing something here." Rosalie said taking a bite of her toast. "And I've never heard that many sentences in a row starting with 'no'." Emmett laughed.

"Well I better go change." I said before walking up the stairs, leaving the rest of them to talk about sentence structure. As I approached Edward's room I slowed down before knocking.

"You can come in Bella." Edward called from the other side of the door. Walking in I saw Edward looking through the scrap book Alice and Esme put together.

"This picture is one of my favorites." Edward said pointing to the picture of the first day we met. I looked at it and smiled sadly remembering that day. It was the beginning of grade three and Edward and I were placed in the same class. Esme came with Edward and of course she brought along her camera. I remember I was all by myself in the corner of the gym; Edward walked over to me his mother in tow.

"You like piano too?" He asked out of the blue, pointing to my piano key chain hanging from my backpack.

"Yes." I replied shyly. And in a very Alice like manner Edward declared I was going to be his closest friend. The picture was of Edward and I clapping hands when we got into the same class, Mrs. White was our teacher. Coming back into present time I smiled at Edward.

"I love that picture, I think I love all the pictures but the one of me crying on my tenth birthday because I thought you weren't coming." I said flipping quickly to the picture, grimacing when I saw my puffy, red eyes. We spent the rest of the morning flipping through the book laughing at most of the pictures; it was like reliving the past, a past full of happy, memorable memories.

"Come on; time to go to my house." I told Edward when we finally finished going through the book.

"Do we have to?" He whined.

"Edward acting like the seven year old I fell in love with isn't going to work." I told him rolling my eyes before the words I spoke sunk in. I looked up in shock at Edward who was staring back with a mixed expression of amusement and surprise.

"You love me?" He asked walking towards me, his face full of amusement and something else, the shock having died away.

"Of course I love you, you dough head. I've spent ten years with you. Now come on I have calculus that needs to be done." I said walking over to grab my scrap book before going out of the door, trying to play it off like it was nothing, but I could feel my heart hammering in my chest and I could feel the blood staining my cheeks. I could hear Edward following me down the stairs, his keys jingling in his pocket.

"Bye Esme." I said to her as we passed.

"See you for dinner Bella; I'm trying a new recipe out." She said looking excited. I nodded and walked out to the Volvo. Calculus did not go over well, Lacey kept interrupting blabbing on about nothing to Edward and my aunt was angry at me for not telling her I was going to be away for a night.

I watched sadly as Edward drove back home, I couldn't go with him because Celine forbid it. Walking back inside I tried to focus on my Calculus homework, but my mind couldn't focus. I picked up the scrap book and flipped through it feeling the warm tears build up in my eyes. This was going to be a tough two weeks and an impossible year.

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**I'm going to do another Edward's POV for either this chapter of chapter 13, so just tell me what one you would like the most.**

**LilyAlice**


	15. No Air

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**I tried my hardest to make this chapter perfect, I hope you all like it. Thank you so much for your reviews, I may not answer back but I still appreciate them, they make my day.**

_No Air - Jordin Sparks (This song is absolutely perfect for this chapter, you must listen to it.)_

Two weeks, 14 days, 336 hours, 20160 minutes, I spent every one of those days with Edward, I spent nearly 300 of those hours with him and I spent nearly 18000 minutes with him and it still wasn't enough time. Slowly the last day with Edward dawned on us and I found myself waking up to the sound of rain softly falling on the roof. Sitting up I looked down at Edward as he lay on the floor, wondering how he got there. Sliding to the edge of the bed I slipped off and lay on the floor by Edward's side. Reaching out I stroked the length of his soft cheek, loving how it felt beneath my palm. In a sudden movement Edward's hand flashed up and grabbed my hand pinning it to his cheek.

"This is a nice way to wake up." He murmured. "But for some reason I'm uncomfortable." I giggle softly moving closer to his warm body, the cold air breezing over my exposed skin.

"Well, you are on the floor." I told him, my hand still clasped in his.

"Why am I on the floor?" He asked not even opening his eyes.

"I was wondering the same thing only minutes ago." I told him. Edward opened his eyes and I looked into his shining green orbs. With a groan Edward sat up from the floor, pulling me up with him by my hand.

"If I handcuffed you to my wrist and threw away the key do you think my parents would let you come?" Edward asked looking down at me, a burst of amusement coming into his eyes.

"No, I don't think that would work, and I would appreciate it if you didn't try." I told him. Edward took a step closer to me so our chests were nearly touching.

"What if I did try?" He asked clasping my hands in his.

"I would wonder why you had handcuffs." I answered keeping my tone indifferent but feeling my heart pound in my chest at his proximity. I felt my face start to heat up and I tried my hardest to keep the blush off my cheeks.

"Halloween costume," He replied after a moment of thought. I rolled my eyes and jumped on the bed, taking a deep breath when I was far enough away from him. Being too close to Edward was starting to drive me insane, my heart yearned for him but my brain knew better. The internal battle alone was enough to kill a person, but the way Edward looked at me with emotion filled eyes; his bronze hair in messy disarray on his head caused me physical pain from clenching my hands together so I wouldn't reach out. Edward stepped forward and sat beside me his eyes instantly clouded over with pain.

"Bella," He whispered my name like I was a lover that was dying. I sat transfixed in his eyes and his sad expression. "I don't want to leave." He whispered, as if admitting it made him seem weak. I moved up to my knees and fell forward wrapping my arms around Edward.

"I don't want you to leave, you must know that." I told him feeling better when his strong arms wrapped around my waist.

"I do know that but it doesn't make it hurt less. I sound like a whiney ten year old that lost his play station." Edward said trying to make me laugh.

"Edward, please." I said everything in me hurting. "Can we change the subject?" I asked, no longer wanting to talk about it. Edward nodded his head but kept me tucked under his chin, crushed to his body. Opening my eyes I surveyed Edward's room and hated how different it looked, how empty it was. Everything that made this room Edward's was gone, the thousands of CDs, the stereo, the golden curtains and black leather couch. Packed away in cardboard boxes and were now travelling to a new place.

I could feel the tears stinging the back of my eyes and I knew I needed to get out of this room, out of this house, away from anything that reminded me of what I was losing. I ripped myself from Edward's arms, taking a quick look into his eyes before bolting from the room. I grabbed Edward's coat on my way down the stairs and I flung open the door and into the freezing rain. I craved the numb, cold feeling I knew freezing water brought on. I caught a glimpse of Alice's shocked expression but I paid no attention to her as I ran towards the woods. My foot caught on a fallen branch and I fell to the ground, curling up into a ball on the mossy ground. Edward's coat wrapped tightly around my body I sobbed tearless sobs and my teeth chattered as the cool air settled around me.

"Bella!" I heard Edward scream into the forest his angelic voice ringing through the trees. I wanted to scream out but couldn't, I was too cold. I looked up just as Edward came around the tree, looking more like an avenging angel than a boy. His chest glistened where the rain had fallen, his black pajama pants stuck tightly to his muscular thighs. I watched as Edward walked towards me, his whole body shaking from the cold, but it didn't seem to bother him. He approached me slowly, like I was a trapped dog.

"Bella, please come back with me." He said, his voice wavering as he held out his hand. I had two choices, I could go back with Edward and suffer through the rest of the day until 3 o'clock or I could drive home and curl in a ball. Edward made the decision for me, moving forward he grabbed me roughly and flung me over his shoulder. When we reached the house I saw all the Cullen's and Rosalie staring at us in shock but Edward didn't pay attention to them, he just walked up the stairs unaware of the water falling to the floor as he walked. I could feel the tension in his body and I knew he was fuming. When we reached his room he dropped me on the floor and I landed on my butt on the soft carpet. I looked up to see Edward standing over me my clothes in his hand.

"Take a shower and get changed, then we will talk about this." He told me calmly but I could see all his anger in his eyes. I grabbed the clothes and walked into the bathroom, trying not to look back at Edward, knowing he was pinching the bridge of his nose, in frustration. My shower was quick and soon I was in his room staring at him.

"Bella, we need to talk about this," He said calmly sitting on his bed. I moved to his side and sat down.

"I'm sorry, it just became too much." I told him.

"Bella you need to talk to me." He said lifting my chin up with his finger.

"I just didn't want you to see me cry again." I told him half the truth, but enough of it for him not to be suspicious.

"Bella, I don't care if you cry, why would you think that?" He asked, I shrugged my shoulders and Edward crushed me to my chest.

"I'll come see you for the summer, all of the two months. You won't be able to lose me." He said into my hair. I nodded my head and relaxed against his body. A soft knock broke us apart, looking over I saw Esme standing in the doorway.

"Edward, would you mind if I talked to Bella alone?" Esme asked her son and he nodded slowly before standing up and exiting the room. I looked over at Esme and she smiled warmly.

"Just tell him Bella." Esme said walking towards me.

"Tell him what?" I asked feigning confusion.

"Bella, I've known you for ten years and I have regarded you as a daughter. I have watched you grow into the beautiful women you are now and have cared for you like you were my own. Please to not play oblivious any more. I know you love Edward; I can see it in your eyes whenever you are together." I stared blankly at Esme before I blushed furiously.

"How long have you known?" I asked, not wanting to look up.

"Longer than you," She replied simply before wrapping her arms around me. "Were leaving for the airport now and Rosalie and Emmett are leaving to drive down so we have our vehicles." Esme told me before standing up and heading for the door. "Be strong Bella." She whispered before opening the door and leaving me to my own thoughts. Edward walked back in wearing a dark blue sweater and a pair of worn light blue jeans. There was no need for words, I stood up and went to his side, grabbing his hand securely in mine we made our way down the stairs one last time together.

The ride to the airport was spent in silence, a sad silence, one full of loss and heartache. I watched Edward the whole time, from the top of his bronze covered head to his shoe covered foot. I was preserving his memory, burning his image into my eyes. Carlisle pulled the Volvo up into the airport and Edward and I stiffly stepped out. I walked towards the airport and I watched as it turned into hell, the place that would take away what was left in my life. The automatic doors slide open and I walked into the heated room with Edward by my side. Slowly our group moved towards a corner where we could say our goodbyes. Everything in me turned numb as I watched Edward move from my side and hug Jasper. Alice was already crying silently at Jasper's side, clinging desperately to his waist. Edward whispered something into Jaspers ear and it received a nod from the tall blond boy. My legs moved on their own accord towards Edward's side and I embraced him and Alice in an awkward hug. I felt warm tears begin to fall down my cheeks as my heart wept.

"You'll always be a sister to me." Alice said to me weakly, smiling a very watery smile.

"I know," I whispered back not knowing if my voice could be any louder. Alice flung her small body at me and I held onto her tightly, not wanting to let go. Jasper placed his hands on Alice's shoulder to comfort her and she quickly released her hold on me so she could surrender to Jasper's embrace. I avoid Edward's gaze as I turned and walked the short distance to where Carlisle and Esme were standing. I embraced them both briefly and stood back so I could see their faces.

"We're so sorry Bella." Carlisle said his hands on my shoulder.

"I love you both that will never change." I said, the tears momentarily stopped, I was readying myself for the goodbye that would tear me apart. Esme looked at me with her wise hazel eyes and nodded in Edward's direction.

"He always needed you as much as you needed him and right now he needs you more than anything else." I nodded, hugging them one last time before turning around and walking the short distance to Edward's side. Our eyes met, green with brown, and we told each other everything, and our guards were down. I saw emotions he had buried away, anguish and sadness, I saw emotions I could not name but made my heart beat faster and harder in my chest. I moved swiftly to his side and threw myself on him, clinging desperately to his body, my fingers digging into my own arms.

"Bella," He whispered in my hair, his own arms tight around my back. I could feel the tears spring back to my eyes and I felt them fall onto his blue sweater. I pulled back when I knew he had to leave.

"I'll come back for you, I promise." And I believed him; his eyes only held sincerity and withheld tears. I nodded and watched him walk away. I stood still and watched as the reason for everything in my life walked away from me. I should have told him how I felt; I should have done a lot of things. My whole being began to shy away from the pain that slowly was erupting in my chest, eroding all happy and sane thoughts.

I heard a scream soft around me and I saw the people in the airport pass by me. I realized I was running towards Edward, my heart deciding for me this once. I saw Edward turn and I came to a halt in front of him. Reaching my hands up, I grabbed his face and roughly pulled it to mine. Leaning forward a fraction of an inch, I placed my lips gently against his. I could feel his shock go through his body but soon he relaxed against my lips and returned the kiss earnestly. I felt a heat flame through my body as his lips moved gently against mine. My hands fell from his cheeks and moved into his silky bronze locks. Edward pushed my head closer to his and deepened the kiss. I felt as though time stopped and it was just us in that moment. The world dropped from around us taking away the noise of the airport and the pain of departure. I could pinpoint every spot on my body where his was touching, my thighs, my lips…my chest, everything was burning up and eventually I pulled away afraid of combustion. Instantly I missed Edward's soft, warm lips. I stared up into Edward's eyes and spoke the words my heart so desperately wished me to.

"I love you," I whispered, packing as much emotion I could muster into those three words.

"I love you too, and I will come back." Edward's voice was rough and his eyes were smoldering. Quickly I broke our gaze before it became too much and I turned around and walked back across the airport, not wanting to watch Edward walk away again. I saw Jasper across the airport leaning against the wall, his face a stony mask. I surged forward trying to stay on my feet, as the pain weighed me down. Jasper pushed himself off the wall and moved swiftly to my side, catching me before I hit the floor. I broke down in his arms.

"Bella," Jasper whispered as he held me. I could see the people walking around us giving us the strangest looks but I couldn't stop. I felt my heart begin to numb, trying its hardest to seal away the crumbling whole.

"Bella, breathe." Jasper said in my ear, swinging me easily into his arms and walking swiftly towards the parking lot. Everything became a blurred mess and I soon forgot how I arrived home or in my bed. Darkness surrounded me and I let it over take me. It was then that I realized everything good you have eventually all falls down.

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**Review and tell me if it was good or bad. I will eventually do this chapter in Edwrad's POV but give me time its hard to write sad chapters.**

**LilyAlice**


	16. Rescue Me

**WOW! That's all I can say, I did not think I would get 78 reviews for one chapter and I also did not think I would make so many of you cry. Thank you so much for your support of my story, I'm glad you all like it.**

_Rescue Me - Antonement soundtrack(This chapter couldn't be summed up in words.)_

Weeks blended into months, months became nothing but passing time on a calendar. Celine no longer talked to me after I asked her to take me out of high school and place me in a home school program. Lacey now ruled my old school and had every boy at her beckon call; she walked around my house as if she was superior to me, making snide comments about the Cullen's. They had left seven months ago, seven months, two weeks and four days ago to be more exact.

It was June and I finally finished my last final exams. School work and Jasper were my constant companions and all that I had left but Jasper was leaving for a University in California and I was leaving for a University in Washington. It had only taken me seven months to complete both junior and senior year, a huge accomplishment the principle said.

Walking into my room I turned on my computer, a habit by now, and pulled up my hotmail. The inbox flashed 180 unread messages; all which I knew were from Edward. I couldn't read his messages they hurt too much and a wise women once told me it was best to forget and move on then live in the past. Edward was my past now, a happy past, but still a past. My future was my writing and my English degree. A soft knock on my door alerted me of someone's presence, I turned to see Jasper leaning against my door frame his blond hair getting pretty long and hiding his eyes. I nodded my head at him in acknowledgment, Jasper smiled and walked in so he could sit on my bed.

"How are you today?" He asked the same question he asked everyday.

"Fine," I replied, keeping up the tradition. Once the pleasantries were over Jasper's face turned sad.

"You still haven't answered his emails or his phone calls?" Jasper asked pointing to the monitor.

"That's none of your business." I snapped at him before turning off the computer screen.

"Yes it is, I'm your friend and Edward's friend and at this moment you're hurting him more than I can say." Jasper accused me, standing up so he was looking down on me.

"It's for the best." I replied standing up and grabbing my journal off my night stand.

"Like hell it's for the best. Bella have you looked in the mirror lately? You look horrible, and I'm being nice when I say that. There's no light in your eyes, you don't laugh, and you don't sing anymore, you are a shell of the Bella I once knew. The Bella, I and so many others have grown to love. So don't tell me it will be for the best." Jasper yelled at me his face flushing in anger.

"Jasper," I said calmly as I wrote in my journal. "It is for the best, I was never good enough for Edward. Thinking back on it I don't know why he stayed with me. All I was was a burden to him and the Cullen's." I said finishing writing my thoughts on paper.

"Bella," Jasper said grabbing my face in his hands. "You have lost your mind; Edward told you he loved you. Do you seriously think he doesn't care for you? If you do then you're crazier than I thought." Jasper said forcing me to look into his eyes.

"He was lying." I said with conviction. "I know how Edward looks when he lies and he was lying to me. Edward knew he would never see me again so he lied to make me feel better, the way he always tries to make me feel better." I told Jasper the conclusion I had come to nearly four months ago.

"Who has poisoned your mind?" Jasper asked standing up and pacing the room. "How could you think of Edward that way?" Jasper asked.

"No one has poisoned my mind, but I hear things. How would you wish me to think of Edward?" I asked Jasper my voice still calm.

"Bella!" He screamed at me and I didn't even flinch. "Do you hear yourself? I think not. You're asking me how you should think of Edward, that's insane. Friends for ten years and you're asking me how you should think of him. I've tried Bella; I've tried for seven months to get you to understand, but something is wrong with you, you're broken and I cannot fix you." If only he knew how torn and broken I was, the pain has never left but with time I noticed it got easier to handle. "It's Edward's birthday in five days, did you know that?" Jasper asked trying to calm himself.

"Of course I knew that." I told Jasper.

"Did you get him anything?" He asked.

"Yes, I sent it to his house a week ago." I told him, but failed to mention that I put it under Lacey's name. I needed Edward to know I understood he was lying and that I'd leave him alone.

"Well that's a start." Jasper sounded slightly relieved. I nodded and reopened my almost full journal.

"What do you write so constantly about?" Jasper asked changing the subject. I finished writing my thoughts and looked up at Jasper.

"A story," I told him before walking across my room and packing the journal into my suitcase. I was leaving for Washington State University in the morning.

"What is it about?" Jasper inquired.

"A love story that will stand the test of time," I told Jasper. I moved to his side and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. "I'll miss you Jasper, you have been nothing but a good friend to me." I told him before zipping up my suitcase and placing my new laptop on top of it.

"Bella why must you leave now, why don't you come to California with me for the summer?" Jasper asked almost pleading.

"I have to go now I have a lot of typing to do this summer." I informed Jasper before turning to look out my window. The tree beside my window was in full bloom now and the flowers in the flower bed were blooming under the cloud cover.

"Bye Bella." Jasper whispered coming up behind me. "I will miss you even more now." He said before turning me around and wrapping his arms around me in an embrace. I awkwardly lifted my arms up and patted Jasper on the back before stepping out of his embrace and watching him walk out of my house and into his packed car. I had officially severed all ties with Edward, something I knew he wanted. I looked once more around my room to see if I had missed anything while packing. Noticing I had missed nothing I turned off the computer and sat down on my bed.

The tears of rejection washed down my cheeks as I looked at my journal. Edward no longer wanted me, everyone knew it but Jasper, Lacey knew it, Jessica and Lauren knew it, even Alice knew it. I was always the last to figure things out and that usually resulted in more pain. Those 180 emails held nothing but accounts of what California looked like, how pretty the girls were and who he had fallen in love with. I still loved Edward with everything in me, I loved him so much it hurt physically to be away from him, but time heals all wounds or so I thought.

Instead I choose a different way to try and heal myself, I would write Edward a book, a book about our lives growing up together and how I so foolishly fell in love with him. The story was almost completed I just needed an ending. Would I end up with Edward or with another man? Did I want to make my book end with me getting my happily ever after or did I want to end it with the truth? Those questions haunted me at night when I searched for sleep. Maybe it wasn't a question on how the book would end but about how my real life story would end, in disaster or in a happy ending. No matter how I ended it I would either be lying or writing out the sad truth of my life.

Morning came and with it came a better understanding of how I wanted to end my book. I would give myself a happy ending I was sure I would never actually receive, and ending that the readers would enjoy. Slowly I dragged myself out of bed and hopped into the shower, loving the feeling of the warm water as it cascaded down my back. With my suitcase's in hand I walked out to my truck and loaded it up, getting ready for my long drive down to the University. I took one last look at the little house I had called home for so many years. Walking back inside I grabbed some food for the trip and left a note for Lacey and Celine. As I was about to leave the phone rang and I quickly picked it up not wanting my relatives to be woken up by the annoying ringing.

"Hello," I said into the receiver. The was no reply. "Hello?" I asked again, before I heard the distinct sound of the dial tone. With an annoyed sigh I hung up the phone and headed for the door. Grabbing the key above the doorfarme I locked the door behind me and kept walking to my truck. I hopped into my truck and drove away, never looking back at the house I once called home and the small town of Forks.

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**To clear up some things you might need to know about this chapter. Bella has convinced herself in seven months that Edward never really liked her and she was only a burden to him and his family an unworthy burden. Lacey, Jessica and Lauren did not help with the situation and now shes sure Edward has a hot claifornian girlfriend, whom he can truely care for.**

**Any other questions just ask. If I don't answer its because they will be answered later on.**

**LilyAlice**


	17. Carolyna

**Sorry for the delay but school and life seemed to have caught up with me. Thank you so much for your encouraging reviews and I'm sorry for the short chapter, but at least I finished it.**

_Carolyna - Melenie C (Just listen to the lyrics before you laugh at me)_

As I drove down the deserted roads the scenery never changed. Green and brown blurring together as I drove past the endless forests. My destination wasn't that far away, it was only about five hours to Washington State University in Vancouver, Washington. I spent the drive listening to the slew of songs that the radio played, ranging from a very old Britney Spears song to the newest by Muse. My journal laid on the passenger's seat the bulging pages mocking me as I struggled for an ending. I had never in my life struggled for words as I did when I stared at those last blank pages which mocked me when I opened it up. I was about an hour away from the University when my cell phone began to ring. I knew it was a bad driving habit answering your cell phone when on the road, but it was so deserted that it didn't matter to me.

"Hello." I answered as I jammed my phone between my ear and my shoulder.

"Bella, its Jasper." Jasper answered on the other end, my breath caught in my throat when I realized Jasper must be California, so close to Edward, so close to everyone.

"Hi Jasper," I replied trying my hardest to keep my tone light, but feeling the sharp pains ignite in my dormant chest.

"Hey Bella, how are you?" He asked.

"Fine." I replied quickly not wanting this conversation to last too long.

"I'm in California." He informed me and I cringed slightly.

"Well I'm glad you made it there alive."I told him.

"Are you at your dorm yet?" He asked curiously, but I could hear a soft musical voice in the back ground, a voice I knew.

"No, but I have to go now Jasper I'm on the road." I was about to close the phone when I heard someone scream wait.

"Bella," Alice said into the phone. "Please stay on I just want to talk." Taking a deep breath I placed the phone back against my ear, I couldn't resist Alice and her pleading voice. I avoided her for that reason and that reason only.

"I'm still here." I whispered back, repressing a deep sigh.

"Bella, I miss you, please come back, you don't know what it's like without you." Alice said in a soft but very sad voice, I chose to ignore her comment.

"How's California?" I asked as I watched the street signs flash by me.

"Really warm and boring," Alice replied, her signature cheerfulness not in her voice. My heart skipped a beat when I heard the sad notes in Alice's musical voice.

"How are your grandparents?" I asked.

"Not doing the best, their health is failing." Alice replied and I could feel the tension through the phone, we were both avoiding the topic we both desperately wanted to talk about. I knew Alice wouldn't beable to keep herslef from talking about Edward for much longer, I needed to end this conversation soon.

"I'm sorry." I told her feeling my neck cramp up from holding the phone and driving. "Alice I really have to go now." I told her, hearing the faint tone of pleading in my own voice.

"Bye Bella, don't be a stranger." Alice replied quietly and I hung up. I quickly threw my phone onto the passenger's seat, my hand burning from touching the phone, guilt washing through me hard and strong. I spent the rest of the 45 minutes blasting the music so I could drown away my thoughts in the loud beats and screaming lyrics.

As I drove up onto the campus I stared in awe and the large buildings surrounding me. Trees towered over providing shade and old buildings with beautiful brick were around every corner. I maneuvered my very old truck into a parking space and hopped out quickly so I wouldn't draw too much unwanted attention to myself. Grabbing my backpack with my laptop and stuffing my journal into it I made my way towards the entrance. I quickly pulled out the letter I had received about my dorm placement and re read it looking over where my room was going to be and who my roommate was.

Room 243 with a girl named Angela Weber, looking up I glanced around in search of a sign that would direct me to where I was going. I had never in my life been so lost in one place, I mean I was used to small places and this University campus was almost as big as the town of Forks, this was definitely not a small place. With a deep sigh I looked around for someone who could direct me to the right place. I saw a tall man standing in the corner, his dark hair not brushed and sweeping across his forehead. He wore a grey T-shirt over casual blue jeans, with a book bag slung around his shoulder, a book in his hand. I started walking towards him and noticed he was reading Jane Eyre, a weird choice of book for a man in college.

"Excuse me?" I asked timidly coming to a stop a few feet from him. The man looked up and his gray eyes met mine. He had a pleasant look to his face and up close looked older then he did when I was farther away. I would guess he was in his last year of University.

"Yes?" He asked his voice warm and calming and he was smiling at me reassuringly.

"I'm looking for room 243." I told him, he smiled and me and closed his book.

"I'll show you where it is." I thanked him and followed him out of the entrance hall towards the campus dorms further away.

"What are you studying?" I asked him, trying to be polite, but his answer was a very joyful laugh. My face must have shown confusion because he smiled down and me apologetically.

"I'm not a student; I'm one of the English professors." I blushed in embarrassment that would be why he was reading Jane Eyre and why he was so nice. "Don't be embarrassed most students make that mistake. Well usually its girls." I laughed at his confused expression.

"Well that's reasonable." I told him.

"Why would that be reasonable?" He asked looking at me curiously.

"I hope you don't take this the wrong way but, you look extremely young to be a professor." I told him ducking my head as my cheeks heated up.

"I get that more than you could know." He answered with a chuckle; I looked up and smiled at him sheepishly before looking back down at my feet. We walked for a couple of minutes in silence, both searching for something to say.

"What are you studying…?" He paused and I knew he wanted my name.

"Bella Swan." I told him. "And I'm studying English and writing."

"My favourite subjects," He said proudly before laughing and I laughed along with him. "Well here is your dorm; you will find me in the English departments if you ever need any help, it's Professor Henderson." I thanked him again before opening the door and walking slowly down the many halls in search of my room.

My room was a small square with two beds and one small nightstand; there were two doors on both sides of the room, a small closest hidden behind each door. With a small smile I placed my backpack on one of the beds and flopped down next to it. I was in university, studying English, my dreams were coming true, yet somehow this didn't count. Dreams couldn't come true if you felt like death inside.

I quickly jumped back up from my bed and walked back down the stairs and towards my truck, I still needed to unpack my suitcase and there was no point slipping into painful memories of the past when I could keep myself busy. It didn't take me too long to find my clunky red truck, and it took me even less time to unload it and fill up my half of the dorm room. I looked over at my journal and took a deep breath before opening it and staring at the empty pages. I needed help filling these pages and I think I knew who could help me.

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**Before you all begin to worry, Mr.Henderson is nothing more then a friend to Bella, picture him as an older brother or young uncle. If you do the chapter is better appreciated, he is just someone who will get her in with the right people so she can get published. I hope that clears stuff up.**

**Again any other questions just ask.**

**One more thing to address. Did anyone see the MTV video that the Lexicon posted? It was so amazing, I nearly died. Sorry I had to have my fan girl moment.**

**LilyAlice**


	18. February song

**Thank you for your very awesome reviews! Seriously you girls or guys are amazing.**

_February song - Josh Groban_

I locked my dorm door behind me before heading back outside. I could feel the suns warm rays on my skin and I looked up into the sky the sun casting strange lines of light on the pavement where it could pass through the canopy of leaves. I guess I would get more sun here than I ever did in Forks. I clutched my journal closer to my body as I made my way towards the English rooms. If anyone could help me finish my book it would be an English professor who knew nothing about me. I moved swiftly down the halls in search of a Professor Henderson's office. When I came upon it I smiled and lifted my hand to knock on the door.

"Come in," His soft voice rang out on the other side. I walked shyly into his office and smiled timidly when he looked up at me over his thin glasses, surprise etched on his features.

"Miss Swan, what a surprise." He said placing his glasses down on his desk and pointing for me to sit in the chair across from him. I moved forward slowly, wondering to myself what possessed me to come here.

"How can I help you?" He asked, taking a deep breath I met his gray eyes and told him everything about my story. I told him about how I was struggling with the end and about each of my characters. I even struggled with the tears of pain that were threatening to fall as I relived my past, a past I knew I could never run away from but could possibly gain closure. When I finished I ducked my head and tried to wipe away the tears that were pooling in my eyelashes without him noticing. I jumped slightly when I saw a Kleenex in front of my face.

"Take it." Me Henderson said, I thanked him before using the Kleenex.

"From what you've told me, this story holds some very deep emotional meaning to you." I nodded weakly. "Well then I will help you, but first you must allow me to read what you have written so far." I paused for a moment, did I really feel ready to let someone else read everything, my life's story, my emotions…everything about me laid out for anyone to use as a weapon against me.

"Bella, it's just a story, I promise I won't tell anyone about it." I looked up at him and read the sincerity in his eyes. With a slow nod I handed over my journal.

"Thank you." I said before standing up, feeling slightly embarrassed by my emotional moment.

"I have one more question." Mr. Henderson said, I turned back to face him as he opened the cover of the journal, his eyes scanning over the first few sentences.

"Yes?" I said watching him read.

"Is this about you?" When he asked his head lifted up and his eyes met mine.

"Yes," I whispered before fleeing from the room, I ran until I was outside the building, where I stopped and leaned against the cool brick. The brick scrapped against my forehead as I leaned my weight against it and took in shallow breaths. I had just handed over my sad and pathetic life's story to a complete stranger. You know you're unstable when…I started to laugh at that thought and soon I was on the ground in hysterias, laughing so hard I couldn't breathe.

When I had finally calmed down I stood up and looked over to see a boy with his hood over his head staring at me, I returned his stare, feeling small under his gaze, I couldn't see his eyes but I could feel the power of his stare. After I minute I tore my gaze from his and started running in the opposite direction, scared that he was some creeper out to get me. I was out of breath and my heart was pounding painfully in my chest but I didn't stop running. I ran and ran and ran trying to put everything behind me, escape from the pain I felt on a daily basis. You grow accustom to pain when it sits in your chest for months on end, you grow accustom to the sharp needles and the random outbursts as it comes part of who you are. I finally stopped when I reached the door of my dorm. I stumbled into my room, my legs nothing but jell-o beneath me. I made my way to my bed where I fell and lay motionlessly; my chest ached as it gasped for oxygen and my heart beat painfully against my ribs.

Slowly I regained my breath by that time the sun had fallen over the horizon and my dorm room lay in darkness. My muscles groaned in protest when I sat up and limped towards my suitcase where I pulled out a pair of comfortable pajamas. As soon as I was changed I flopped back down on my mattress and fell asleep instantly. The morning rolled around and with it brought a very achy body. With a low groan I heaved myself off the mattress and grabbed my supplies so I could take a shower in the girl's washroom down the hall. My shower was quick and it took me no time to get ready for the day, as I made my way back to my dorm room I noticed a cardboard box sitting out front of my room. I walked faster and read the note attached to the top.

_Bella:_

_I gift from me to you, since I know you didn't take the time to pack suitable bedding and curtains. A little birdie told me you would need it._

_Alice._

I smiled weakly as I noticed her familiar writing scrawled out on the white piece of paper. I bent down and picked up the cardboard box, bringing it into my room. I grabbed a pair of scissors from my pencil case and open the box to see a beautiful and soft, blue comforter along with matching sheets and decorative pillows. I pulled them all out of the box and made my bed, slowly placing all the new blankets on the old and used mattress. Straightening up my back I smiled at my work and sat down on the comfy and now soft bed before pulling out my laptop and setting it on my bed. I sat in silence for a minute before the suspense began to slowly wear away at my feelings and nerves. Would Mr. Henderson like my book? Was he reading it now? Was my story good enough? So many questions ran through my head, each one making me more and more antsy. The torture became too much and I hopped off my bed and out of my dorm room, making sure to lock the door behind me.

I moved slowly across the campus, taking in all the old buildings and towering trees, the sun and the blooming flowers. The air was warm and sticky with heat, warmer weather then I was used too. There was very little activity on the campus as I walked through it, a few students and teachers here and there but other than that there was no one. I opened the door to the English halls and was blasted by the air conditioner. I sighed in relief, the cool air felt so nice against my burning skin. The sound of my sneakers hitting the ground was the only one around as I moved down the English halls towards Professor Henderson's door. Stopping in front of his door I took a deep breath to prepare myself for any outcome. I lifted my hand up quickly and knocked three sharp raps on his door.

"Come in, Bella" His voice rang through the door a note of laughter in it. I stood in a shocked stillness for a second before composing myself and walking into his office. Mr. Henderson was sitting behind his desk his think glasses back on his face and his head bent over my journal.

"I…I…Hi." I finally managed to say felling embarrassed and extremely nervous, my face heating up in my signature blush.

"Sit down Bella before you fall down." I did just what he said and moved quickly to the leather chair across from his desk. "I'm guessing you are here to know what I think of your book so far." He asked politely looking up at me over the rim of his glasses.

"Yes." I told him nervously, fiddling with my hands in my lap.

"There's no need to be so nervous, I'm not grading this. But if this was your paper I would have to keep it and make you write a new one, or else it would be considered cheating." I stared at him blankly. "I should have known you wouldn't like jokes." He said absentmindedly before taking off his glasses and placing them on his desk so he could look at me better.

"Bella this is a very well written story, full of emotion that I didn't know a girl so young could experience. I must say your tale is not a happy one." He said sadly and I nodded already feeling better from the first half of his compliment. "I do agree with you though, your ending will be the hardest part, the only advice I can give you is look for inspiration, a picture, a letter, anything that will help you get closure or to an ending." I looked at him with a shocked expression, he actually liked it?

"You liked it then?" I asked cautiously, picking at my fingernails.

"I loved it; it was very…human and shows the flaws in all of us."

"Thank you." I said sincerely before standing up.

"It was my pleasure, now how about you type this thing up and tell me when you are done. Since you are new in this business I will help you find the right publisher and editor." I thanked him again and again before he told me if I said thank you one more time he would tape my mouth shut.

"And please stop calling me Mr. Henderson; you make me sound fifty, when I am not a day over 30, its Oliver." This was one teacher I knew I would like; he had a strange sense of humour but was still professional.

"Thank y…" I started to say before I saw Mr. Henderson reach for the tape on his desk. "I really appreciate your help." I said using different words to say thank you.

"You better get going that will take you a good month to type up." I nodded and left the room feeling better, yet somehow worse.

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**For those of you who are feeling Edward withdrawl (trust me I am too) He will be back within the next two chapters, I hope! I don't even know, now thats sad. I don't know if I should bring him in early or later, oh so many questions that haunt me. :D sorry I tend to ramble when tired**

**Well I hoped you enjoyed this chapter, I like it, but that oculd possibly be a biased opinion.**

**LilyAlice**


	19. You Are Loved

**The next chapter! YAY! Thank you all so much for your reviews, you people are awesome. A specil thanks to Trueloveskiss for helping me with the direction of this chapter and listening to me go on and on about it (though I guess you had nothing better to do in out 'english class')**

_You are loved - Josh Groban or Remember when it Rained - Josh Groban_

Edward's birthday soon snuck up behind me and I was forced with the horrible dilemma of what I should do. There were so many options, some too ludicrous to even think about. I had finally settled it down to sending him an email or text messaging him, both very impersonal, but still nice. My phone and my laptop sat on either side of me, mocking me as I stared. My mind still not made up I opened my computer and started to type up my story. HOping that writing was going to help me choose. I typed until my fingers felt cramped and my back was burning from bending over the keys. Standing up, unable to even look at the computer any longer I picked up my cell phone and sent Edward a happy birthday text.

Feeling worse for wear, I sat back down and did a couple of stretches I remembered from gym class, to try and keep my mind off of things I didn't want to remember. I remembered most of the birthdays I had spent with Edward, baking the cakes, exchanging presents and goofing off. I shook my head, trying to dispell the memories and devoted myself completely to the stretches. When my stretches were done I changes into my pajamas and fell into a dream filled sleep.

My life quickly fell into a routine where I typed for most of the afternoon either in my room or under a tree that had enough shade to block me from the sun's rays. My nights were filled with sleep and reading, mostly I read the classics, Jane Austen and the Bronte sisters, with the occasional story by Shakespeare. Sometimes I would stray from this routine to go shopping for food or clothes, but that was a rare occurrence. The month of July came and past quicker than I thought possible. It was August first and I was completely done everything I had previously written, the last hurtle I had to get over was the ending. The ending had to be perfect; it had to flow with the rest of the story and end perfectly for the characters.

Looking out my window I saw the sun slowly falling over the horizon, a perfect time to take a walk for inspiration. Before leaving my room I picked up my sweater, smiling at the cardboard box that had arrived today. Angela was finally coming to the campus, she sent ahead one of her boxes knowing I was going to be here. Angela had conntacted me nearly two weeks ago and I was glad my roommate was sweet and kind. My keys in my pocket, notebook in hand I made my way out into the dusk of the night. The breeze was nice against my face cooling my overheated body. I wasn't completely aware of where my feet took me; I just walked and walked contemplating many things in my overactive mind.

The breeze became suddenly cooler making me look up in surprise, my feet had carried me down unfamiliar streets and I had officially become completely lost. I scanned my surroundings quickly and saw many shops closing, people were scarce on the street and I began to feel uneasy. I turned on my heel, thinking it best to try and back track to the best of my abilities. The back tracking did not help me at all; I was even more lost then before. Taking a deep breath I surveyed my surroundings one more time before pulling out my cell phone and looking at the time. It was 10:06 already and I was getting tired, my eyelids already starting to feel heavier. I shivered from the dropping temperature and the slight fear that was taking over my body, adrenaline already pumping through my veins. I moved swiftly down the streets, searching for a sign that would point me in the right direction of the university. I turned one last corner in panic before seeing the sign that read one more mile in a forward direction to the university. I sighed deeply before slowing my pace and walking towards the campus down a street I recognized.

My mind slowly drifted back to my thoughts when I was sure of my whereabouts. I had come to a decision; one I wasn't sure would help me in the long run but would help my story. I would have to read the now 188 emails I had sitting in my inbox. I was sure they would get me the closure I would need. I could no longer hide my fear, I knew the emials would tear into me more then anything else. Detailed stories of how awesome California was and how wonderful his new girlfriend was. My phone vibrated in my pocket and I jumped slightly.

"Hello?" I asked into the phone forgetting to look at the call display.

"Hey Bella," Alice replied cheerfully on the other end.

"Do you know what time it is Alice?" I asked her wondering why she was calling so late.

"Well yes silly, but I called to tell you I'm coming over to see you." I nearly dropped the phone in surprise.

"You're what?" I squeaked into the phone. I could practically hear Alice rolling her eyes.

"I'm coming over to your dorm; I'll be there tomorrow morning sometime." Alice said cheerfully, a startling contrast compared to the last time I talked to her.

"You're coming here?" I asked trying to get my spinning thoughts under control.

"Yes, I miss you and I want to see you." She said matter-of-factly.

"What about Jasper?" I asked her, still slightly confused at Alice's motives, she never only had one.

"He is going to see his parents while I'm away; it's a win-win situation here." I sighed knowing there was no way I could change her mind and I found myself not wanting to. I was happy Alice was coming; I missed the spunky little girl desperately.

"Well I guess I'll see you tomorrow." I said, feeling a genuine smile spread across my lips.

"Yes you will. Well I have to finish packing, so I must go." We said our goodbyes and I closed my phone, me smile still on my face. I could feel happiness bubbling up in my chest and I couldn't contain it. With a quiet laugh at myself I continued my trek back to campus.

A snapping sound in the distance alerted me of someone else's presence and my head snapped up as two boys walked out of the woods, beer bottles in their hands. I slowed my pace down and allowed them to get ahead of me, their bodies swaying in a dangerous drunken way. Their laughter was loud and their voices slurred as they spoke to each other about some party they were just at. I moved in the shadows as they walked under the streetlamps, I didn't want to be seen, but luck was not on my side tonight. One boy turned around as I stumbled over my own foot his eyes seeing me in the shadows.

"Hey Billy look I think I found us a lady." The man said his voice coming out in a sluggish manner, his brown hair messed up and his shirt unbottoned.

"I think you have Steve." His partner replied in the same manner. I shrunk back down the street as they approached me. They started moving faster towards me and I was nearly positive I could run away from the two drunken imbeciles. Turning around I fled down the street hearing their heavy steps behind me fading into the night. I must have broken a mirror some time in my past for bad luck seemed to be following me. As I ran I managed to trip over my own feet being sent painfully into the pavement, my head clipping the edge of a street lamp. Pain seared immediately from my knee caps and palms, my head was pounding while little lights starting to blur my vision.

"Look Billy the little girl fell down." The man slurred his voice getting louder as they drew closer. I hissed in pain as I tried to lift up my head to get a better view. My heart pounding dangerously fast in my chest as the fight or flight mechanism was activated in my body. I could smell the alcohol on them as they came even closer to me.

"I think you're right Steve, what shall we do now?" My vision was fading as my forehead pounded painfully making everything spin.

"You will do nothing." A strangely familiar voice rang out across the street. Lifting my head enough I saw a hooded figure step out from the trees and into the light of the street, the same figure I had seen before. I couldn't make head or tails of the situation with my head feeling as if it would explode at any minute. The main question running through my head was who should I fear more, the hooded figure or the drunken fools?

"Billy, I think sissy boy over there is telling us what to do." The man replied snarling at the hooded figure who stood still underneath one of the streetlamps.

"I think you're right again Steve." I only watched the figure across the street as he moved forward with startling grace.

"For idiots you seem to spend a lot of your time thinking." The figure replied his voice soft but deadly. I shivered from the barely contained anger in his voice.

"Did you just insult us?" The drunken man asked his speech slurring even more.

"Thank you for stating the obvious, now please be on your way." My heart beat in my chest noticeably faster and it wasn't because of the two drunken thugs about to attack me, no it was his voice, the voice of an angel, a voice that haunted my dreams and stayed with me when its owner could not.

"I don't think so pretty boy." And I watched as the thugs approached the angel. I felt fear run through my veins as one of them raised the beer bottle and smashed it on a streetlamp, leaving only a sharp jagged edge to be used. The pain in my head nearly forgotten as everything slowly fell into place as I watched it. I was watching an angel fight for me and fight he did. The first thug went down hard when he received a sharp kick to the knee caps and he did not get up. The second thug screamed in a drunken outrage and charged forward.

"No!" I tried to scream but it only came out as a whisper when the sharp bottle cut through the sweater of my protector drawing blood, but just as fast the drunken man slipped over his own feet and hit the ground hard, knocking himself out. My head pounded as I forced my body to an upright position, I moved forward as if on a cloud toward the hooded man under the streetlamp. I watched him move swiftly to my side placing his good arm around my waist to steady me. My knees already bruised gave out from under me and I collapsed, only to be lifted up by strong arms.

"Always the same," his musical voice whispered in the night.

"Always foolish," I replied before slipping into unconsciousness, but not before I caught a glimpse of the startling green eyes I had deprived myself of for eight months.

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**There you have it. I hope you liked this chapter. This story is slowly coming to it's end, there will only be four or five chapters left. And still another big twist, which you might hate me for.**

**LilyAlice**


	20. Beauty From Pain

**Thank you all so much for your reviews I got over 80!!**

**In other news, I rewrote this chapter FIVE times, I say FIVE times, plot and all, so if something doesn't make sense (which I hope isn't the case because I had Trueloveskiss go over this) That is probably why. I tried to make it so you wouldn't hate me and trust me this is a nice chapter compared to some of the earlier versions.**

**without further blabbing here is the next chapter.**

_Beauty from pain - SuperChick_

The sunlight poured through the curtains in my dorm room and my eyes began to flutter open, only to be jammed closed when the pounding in my head started up. It felt like my head was splitting open or someone had taken a sledge hammer to it. I tried to sit up in my bed but had to lie back down as the room kept spinning. With a deep breath I crawled out of bed and stumbled on my feet for a few seconds before regaining my footing. I smiled slightly at my little triumph as I walked towards my dresser to grab a Tylenol. As I was downing the two little pills I noticed a shape in the corner of my room in my peripheral vision. I screamed as the shape moved and dropped the glass cup of water on the ground, hearing it smash into a hundred pieces, some of them cutting into the top of my feet and splashing water across my ankles. My heart was pounding in my ears and my head began spinning again. When my eyes adjusted to the light and my room I saw Alice sitting on Angela's bed, a small smile on her face.

"Alice?" I whispered in shock.

"Hey Bella," She said before standing up and coming to my side. She smiled at me before bending down and picking up all the little pieces of glass off the floor.

"I can do that." I said bending down at her side, not wanting to be rude.

"Bella, go sit down and clean the blood off your feet." She told me and I obeyed. I watched Alice pick up all the glass pieces and throw them into my garbage that sat in the corner of my room. I surveyed the rest of my room and noticed Alice's bag in the corner with a large black sweater draped over it. With further inspection I noticed a puddle of blood on my hardwood floor underneath the black hoodie.

"Alice," I shrieked in shock, Alice's head lifted up and she looked over at me in shock. "There's a pool of blood over there, why is it there?" I asked her, Alice looked at me in confusion.

"What do you mean?" Alice asked slowly before standing up and walking to my side.

"I mean there's a pool of blood in the corner of my room and I don't know why it's there?" I told Alice confused by her puzzled expression. Understanding seemed to dawn on Alice's features and she looked worried.

"I had a…a bloody nose." Alice said unconvincingly and I knew something was up, nothing seemed to be adding up in my head, I was missing some vital information that I thought I should know"That's not my blood is it?" I asked her, but somehow already knowing it wasn't.

"No, it's mine; I just forgot to clean it up." She told me before grabbing a towel from my shelf full of them. "I'm going to go get some water so I can clean it up, I'll be back in a moment." She told me before hurrying out of my room, I stared after her more confused then I think I've ever been. I stood back up placing my hand against my pounding skull. How could I manage to get such a headache in one night?

I moved slowly across my room and grabbed my laptop, flipping it open I waited for it to power up, when the black sweater caught my attention. I placed my laptop on the bed and crawled across the bed so I could reach the black sweater. The sweater looked familiar and when my fingers brushed against the soft fabric I was bombarded with a collage of different images. I pulled the sweater free from the top of Alice's suitcase and noticed a gash in the sleeves where dried up blood was. I stared in horror at the sweater, trying to remember what I did last night, I got strange images but none that helped me, two men coming towards me, a hooded stranger in the night. The images began to form into something in my head and I quickly opened my documents so I could type up my thoughts. Ignoring the pain in my head I started typing, the story seeming to flow through my fingers and onto the screen.

"Bella," Alice called my name waving her head in front of my face. I typed two more sentences before looking up at her. "What are you doing?" She asked sitting down next to me, her expression too innocent.

"Writing, could you give me thirty minutes of silence?" I asked her hoping I didn't seem too rude but this had to be written. Alice nodded and went over to her bag where she pulled out a tattered book; I smiled at her one more time before going back to my typing.

"Do you mind if I read this?" Alice asked I nodded not even acknowledging what book she held in her hand. I only paid attention for a second longer to see Alice open the book before a fell into my imaginary world. Thirty seven minutes passed before I finished another chapter, the ending was near.

"You done?" Alice asked from over her book.

"Yes," I told her before closing the lap top and looking over at Alice who sat in the chair across the room, reading my dog-eared journal. My heart stopped beating as I saw her turn another page before it started up again and I moved faster than I thought possible across the room.

"What are you doing?" I asked Alice pulling the journal from her hands.

"Reading your story, it's very good." Alice told me with a smile. I could feel my cheeks heating up in embarrassment

"It's not done yet." I told her quietly before placing it on the nightstand.

"Bella, there is no need to be embarrassed, the best writing comes from the heart. That's why you should read those e-mails my brother sent you…for inspiration. I read in the back that you needed an ending. What better way to end it then to see how one of the main characters really wants it to end." Alice told me before her cell phone started ringing. A wave of sadness over took me and I curled my knees up, not wanting to be swallowed whole by the wave. With deep breaths I was able to keep my mind on the present; I focused on Alice across the room where she talked quickly and angrily with someone.

"No stay where you are. She's not ready; give it a few more days when she remembers, when she realizes." Alice said quietly to someone, I stared at her in confusion, who doesn't remember something? Who could Alice possibly be talking to? Maybe Alice coming here wasn't such a good idea, she was acting stranger then I remember, but then again time does strange things to people.

"Bella, I need to go get something at the variety store do you mind?" Alice asked me the phone pressed against her chest. I nodded slowly thinking Alice needed the break. When the dorm door closed behind Alice I opened up my laptop and my hotmail account, I took a moment to compose myself before clicking on the very first e-mail. My eyes were closed and it took all my strength to open them up and look at the white screen with the little black writing.

_Bella;_

_I miss you, I miss everything about you, your smile, your laugh, your eyes, the way you blush when embarrassed. California is like my own personal hell, a place of punishment. I wish you were by my side, sitting so close so I could feel your body heat, your warm hand in mine. I can't even tell you everything I want to; e-mails are too impersonal to express how I feel. I hope everything is okay in Forks, I tried calling you last night and you never answered, maybe you were out with your other friends for the night (If you were I hope you enjoyed yourself) I'm even counting down the days till Summer holidays when I can see you again. I hope I'm not beginning to sound too desperate to you, maybe I am, I don't remember you writing me an e-mail yet this week. I must go now, Alice wants the computer._

_Please write back,_

_Love, Edward._

I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes, tears of anger and happiness. How could I be so stupid? How could I have doubted Edward for one second let alone a few months? Tears were falling freely down my cheek as I clicked on the newest e-mail, dreading what I was going to read. I couldn't stop my finger from clicking the mouse; I needed to know if I had ruined everything.

_Bella;_

_What has happened? Why must life be so cruel yet beautiful? I never knew you had it in you to think such horrible things of me, things I cannot even comprehend. I must sound like a raving lunatic, a deranged psycho, a stalker of the night, but everything's messed up right now, so why shouldn't I be? You no longer read my e-mails that much I know, so I don't even know why I still write to you, maybe to keep myself sane. Esme's parents died a week ago in their sleep, I didn't go to their funeral._

_Eight months, eighteen days and I still Love you, Edward_

A loud sob escaped my throat as I read this e-mail, this wasn't my Edward, this wasn't the happy person I remembered, the person who always smiled no matter how bad the situation. I needed to fix this, to fix everything, I messed up big time, and the sad thing was it took me over eight months to figure that out. Guilt and self hatred washed over me and I screamed into my pillow in anguish. I ruined everything, it was my entire fault. I moved my head from my pillow as it slowly became soaked with my salty tears. I clutched the black sweater between my fingers and pulled it to my face trying to wipe the tears off my face. I took a deep breath to try and compose myself before Alice got here, as I clutched the sweater a sweet and intoxicating aroma hit my nose and I almost came undone again.

With calming breaths I examined the sweater closer and started to notice why it was so familiar. The strange boy on the corner of the campus, the boy who saved my life...Edward, they all were connected. I gasped in shock when I realized that those two thugs were real not just a strange pigment of my imagination and Edward, oh Edward. The emotions were too much for my small body and I collapsed. Edward was here on campus with a ripped arm all because of me. The need to make everything better took over me completely that I managed to get off the bed and make my way towards my dresser where I found my cell phone. Alice came back into the room and she stared at me strangely

"Where are you going?" She asked me sitting down on my bed.

"I have a question." I told Alice, feeling this weird suspicion that Alice knew Edward was here.

"Yes?" Alice said from the chair in the corner.

"Where's Edward?" I asked her strangely loving the way she fidgeted under my gaze.

"At the hospital," She finally answered looking defeated.

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**Remember any questions just ask away! Oh I have a new One-Shot called 'with the wildflowers' up on my profile go check it out if you would like.**

**LilyAlice**


	21. Gravity

**Thank you again for all your reviews and to all of you who read this story, you people are amazing.**

_Gravity - Sara Bareilles_

Those three words bounced around in my head before they finally processed and by that time I was already rushing around my room frantically looking for my hair brush and cleaner clothes.

"Bella, you need to calm down." Alice said coming up behind me and grabbing my hands as I roughly pulled the brush through my hair, wincing as I dragged it through a knot.

"Calm down, you're asking me to calm down after you tell me Edward's in the hospital?" I asked my voice bordering on hysterical.

"Edward is going to be fine, I can promise you that, but you need to calm down. He only went to go get stitches for his arm and a brace for his wrist." Alice told me nonchalantly.

"Alice, all I need to know is what hospital he is at right now. I don't care if he was only in there because a bee stung him, I need to know where he is." I told her becoming too impatient to keep my voice down. Alice noticed my fidgety state and sighed before standing up and walking towards the door.

"Fine just get into my Porsche and I'll take you there." I nearly screamed in relief but I resorted to hugging her instead.

"Thank you Alice." I repeated over and over again as we made our way hastily down the dorm steps towards the parking lot. I hopped quickly into the Porsche and waited in my seat as Alice moved slowly to her side and into the driver's seat.

"Alice, I don't mean to be rude but could you hurry up?" I asked her and she threw me a strange look before starting the car and peeling out of the parking lot. It slowly began to dawn on me then, that I was going to go see Edward, My Edward. Even after eight months of silence I felt giddy and so extremely happy I don't think I could last much longer in the containment of this car. Alice must have felt my impatience for she took a highway and sped her way easily through the traffic, almost making it look like the cars were going backwards. When the hospital came into view I swear my emotions were going to kill me, they were squeezing my heart so tightly it felt ready to burst.

"Bella he's in the waiting room on the first floor to the right." She told me when she dropped me off at the front so she could go get parking. I nodded at her before sprinting into the hospital. I ran down the halls until I found the sign that pointed towards the waiting room. I walked as quickly as I dared down the hallway towards the waiting room only to be stopped by a young looking nurse behind a desk, she looked at me for a minute before stepping in my way.

"I'm sorry Miss but who are you here to see?" She asked and I practically growled at her in frustration, but managed to compose myself enough to answer.

"Edward Cullen." I told her hastily as she went back to the computer and typed his name in as slowly as I swear she could. My foot began to tap impatiently as she read the screen.

"Ah yes Edward, he is such a sweet heart." She told me with a small smile. "And who are you to him?" She asked and if I had something in my hand I would have thrown it at her head. What did it matter who I was; I just needed to see him.

"You know what I'm not even sure, that's what I'm here to find out." I told her before spinning around and running down the hall listening to her tell me I couldn't go down there. I watched as the numbers slowly crept up to room number 136, or the waiting room. When I got there it felt like the world had come to a complete stop. I slowly opened the door and saw Edward sitting on one of the many cots his back to me as he looked out the window, his arm held up in a white sling. My breath caught in my throat and I moved as if on air towards his side. I could see is bronze hair shimmering in the afternoon sun and I nearly cried out in happiness but managed to keep my mouth clenched shut.

"Hello Bella," His voice whispered when I stopped behind him. A sob escaped my lips and I watched him turn around to look me in the eye. I was no longer in control of my movements as I moved closer to him, without hesitation I wrapped my arms around his body, feeling how fragile he had become. Edward didn't even freeze or hesitate as I held him, his arm mimicked mine and he pulled me tighter to his chest, his other arm between us. I didn't notice I was crying until I could feel the tears that had soaked into Edward's shirt on my cheek.

"I'm sorry," I said before straightening back up and whipping the tears from my eyes. Edward didn't say a word as he stood up and looked down at me pulling me back into a tight hug.

"Bella, there is no need to apologize, for anything." He whispered into my ear, his breath tickling my skin. "I love you," He whispered his voice the softest velvet and I came undone. My knees collapsed under me and Edward's good arm had to hold me up as I sobbed uncontrollably. I wondered briefly how Edward managed to hold me up and get me on the bed with only one good arm, but soon my mind was consumed with more pressing matters. I felt his hand warm against my cheek as he tried to brush away the tears. His hand eventually gave up trying to brush away the tears and ventured its way to my back where it rubbed comforting circles in a rhythmic pattern. I felt like a little girl again as Edward whispered comforting words in my ear, calming me and giving me solace.

"Mr. Cullen your X-rays came back and your wrist is just sprained you may leave now." I heard a nurse tell him her voice coated in worry. "Is your girlfriend okay?" She asked and I heard her coming closer.

"She will be." Edward told her before turning his attention back to me.

"Bella, come on love." He whispered before helping me stand up. I took a deep breath and pushed away the month's worth of tears so I could make it out of the hospital with minimal embarrassment. We walked in silence to the elevator and on the ride down to the main floor but before I stepped out of the hospital Edward grabbed my hand and pulled me back towards him. I looked up at him in confusion but was instantly silenced by the look in his eyes.

"I need to know now, do you love me?" He asked his green eyes piercing his voice rough with emotion.

"Edward, I never stopped." I told him with confidence, gasping quietly when his eyes came to life, like he was a starving man and I was his food. I smiled as he smiled and together we moved inwards pausing only millimeters away giving each other time to back out if they weren't ready. When our lips met it wasn't gentle or soft like our last kiss it was demanding and urgent and it ripped down the guard I held over my heart in a second. My hands grabbed the front of his shirt and I held on tightly as his fingers dug into my lower back keeping me in place. I was the one who broke the kiss, feeling light headed and dizzy. Both of our breathing was ragged and it mingled in the air between us. I could hear some people around us clapping and others scolding us for the display of affection. With a crooked smile Edward pulled me out of the hospital and towards the parking lot where I saw his silver Volvo sparkling in the midday sun beside a very ostentatious Porsche.

"Finally," I heard Alice scream in relief as she stepped out of her Porsche. Edward shook his head at his sister as she ran over and hugged us both.

"You both are the most stubborn and stupid people I have ever met." She told us pulling off her stylish sunglasses. I smiled at Alice and for the first time in a long time I laughed loudly in relief and happiness. Edward looked down at me for a minute before he joined me, our laughter mixing together in the parking lot making some close by birds scatter. Alice rolled her blue eyes and hopped back in her Porsche.

"I'm heading home, Jasper's waiting." She said through the window before she sped out of the parking lot. I stared after Alice before turning to Edward in confusion.

"I thought Jasper was in Forks?" I asked him.

"Is that what she told you?" He asked me grabbing my hand in his and we walked slowly towards the Volvo.

"Yes,"I answerd extremely confused. Edward laughed quietly before turning to face me taking my face in his hands, abandoning the sling.

"Bella, I told Alice to come because I saw that you weren't happy." He told me his eyes boring into mine.

"What do you mean you saw I wasn't happy?" I asked confused at the way he framed his answer.

"There is so much to tell you," He whispered to himself before returning his attention to me. "Bella I've been watching you, so to speak, for the last couple of weeks." He told me sheepishly before opening the passenger's door for me. I stared at him in shock before sliding into the car, we had time to talk, I would have the time to ask him the questions that were burning on my tongue, but for now I would bite my tongue.

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**I hope you liked this chapter, I wanted it to be perfect! In other news, this story is coming to its close and I need your help choosing what I should write next. I will have a poll up on my profile so please go check it out**

**Someone, I'm not sure who, but someone nominated this story at The Denali Coven fanfiction award site for 'best romance' who ever you are thank you so much.**

**I have another one-shot called 'A Summer's Night' up about Carlisle and Esme so go check it out if that interests you.**

**And lastly. That new trailer is the best thing I have ever seen, I don't think I have EVER had so much trouble breathing.**

**LilyAlice, sorry for the long Authors Note**


	22. Find A Way

**Thank you for all you wonderful reviews. I may not reply to them all but they are all appreciated. This took way longer than I thought it would to get up but I had a very bad week.**

_Find A Way - The Used_

The car ride passed in a comfortable silence, it felt like no time had passed, and those eight months were insignificant. I reached across the Volvo console and grabbed his hand in mine, feeling as though everything was clicking into place. There was no friction between us, just the calm feelings of love that swept over us both. I couldn't help but stare at his beautiful face as he drove down the highway toward somewhere. It didn't matter to me that I didn't know where he was taking me; the only thing that mattered was that _he_ was taking me somewhere, I was going with him. I scanned the plans of his cheeks and his strong angular nose, his burning green eyes and his crooked smile. Edward seemed to sense my gaze upon his face and he turned to smile at me, a smile I would be able to recognize in a sea of smiling faces. I never really noticed how unique his smile really was until I was without it.

"What, love?" He asked his voice, low, muted velvet. I couldn't even stop the speeding up of my heart at his name for me or the silly grin that spread on my lips.

"Just thinking," I replied and felt his warm fingers wrap more securely around my own. I watched as he turned off onto a deserted road and scanned the open road ahead of us and the trees that lined the side, and I felt at home. I could feel my eyes beginning to water but I refused to blink, to miss any part of Edward. I was barely aware of the car coming to a stop and the engine's purring cutting off.

"Bella?" Edward said taking my head into his hands; I blinked quickly before smiling at him.

"Edward," I responded quietly and he kissed my forehead.

"Come on, I know you have questions that require answers, I can see the curiosity burning in your eyes." I nodded my head still unable to find many words. Edward stepped gracefully out of the Volvo and I followed him out, managing to get out just not as gracefully as Edward. I looked over to see Edward holding in his laughter as I stumbled towards him.

"Not a word," I told him as he took my hand and started walking into the forest. Forest! My mind finally registered where we were and I looked around to see nothing but trees and the silver Volvo.

"Where are we?" I asked looking up at Edward extremely confused. Edward looked down at me his eyes boring into mine before he shook his head and shrugged his shoulders. I rolled my eyes at his childishness.

"Edward, you're allowed to talk." I told him and his smile was so bright I swear it would have blinded me.

"I came here to talk to you face to face, no distractions." He told me before placing his hands on my waist and lifting me up only to sit me on the trunk of the Volvo. "Now I can see your eyes without straining my neck." He teased and like any self respecting five year I stuck out my tongue. I could feel Edward's hands on my thighs as he stared into my eyes and all I could think about was running my fingers through his silky bronze hair.

"You can now ask away." Edward told me and I closed my eyes so I could think clearly.

"What have you been doing up until yesterday? Tell me everything; no detail is to go unmentioned." I told him severely and he saluted me, before closing his own eyes and taking a deep breath.

"I didn't do much, I was practically useless. I ate and slept and went to school but beyond that I did nothing else. My music was packed away along with my books. The only thing I looked forward to everyday was your email and phone call; it was my life jacket in the middle of the ocean. Alice lost her spunk; everything that made her Alice seemed to disappear in a week. Emmett was the only happy one in our house, he began to date Rosalie and he plans on proposing soon. I didn't make any friends in California, no one was….well no one was you. No one knew me like you did, girls followed me, talked to me in a horribly annoying sweet voice and liked to touch my arm, guys didn't talk to me because they thought I was too strange, too different. Pale skin in California is almost like a social faux pas." I laughed weakly at his little joke but found that my voice was stuck in my throat, when I said no detail was to go unmentioned Edward took that to heart.

"It was January and your emails were coming in less frequently, phone calls were becoming shorter and I was starting to lose my life jacket, it felt like the sea was disintegrating it, and it began to rot off my body. I dove into my homework and worked even harder trying to keep my mind on the chemical formulas and not your smile, your eyes, your hair. It became nearly impossible to not think about you, you were in my every thought. Then the phone calls stopped and the emails stopped, but I kept writing because the thought that you were reading these but choosing not to reply kept me floating when the life jacket was gone." I sob escaped my lips and I tried desperately to wipe the tears from my eyes. I saw the pain in Edward's eyes as he spoke so calmly about the horrible things I had done to him, I don't think he even was fully aware that I was still in front of him, he was too deep in his own horrible memories.

"It was soon June and I realized I couldn't remember the past three months, everything seemed to blend together and blur in my mind. The only thing that stuck out in my mind was you. It wasn't until I received a birthday present to me from Lacey that I really came out of my stupor. The gift was an old book of piano pieces along with a collection of the best of Charlie Chaplin, but I think you already knew that." He said looking into my eyes and it was then that I believed the eyes were the window to the soul. I saw everything in those little green orbs, the months of pain, the moment of realization, the days of grasping for nothing. My hands moved down so they were holding tightly on to his and he closed his eyes a small smile spreading across his perfect lips.

"After I realized the present could have come from no one but you I took off from California and drove straight to Forks, only to get a call from Alice the next day to say you were on your way to University. I knew you had graduated early, Jasper told me that much, but I never knew you would go so early. Forget all about the promise I had made you. Without another though I turned my car around and made my way to the university. And there you were walking across the campus a journal tucked tightly against your chest. At that moment I was filled with such a strange feeling of happiness, love and anguish that I did the only logically thing to my unstable mind I pulled out my sweater, put it on and pulled up the hood concealing my face. I leaned against a wall and watched the door you had disappeared into until you came out. When you did come out you looked distraught and you leaned against the wall." I remembered that day almost perfectly, that stranger across the campus staring so intently at me, the familiarity of the glare.

"After that I decided to watch out for you, make sure you were always safe. Anything I could do I did. It was that night two nights ago that forced me into your sight. I was so angry when I saw those boys staring at you and talking to you in there crass language. Murder was the only thing on my mind. They were lucky I didn't carry anything harmful on my person and that you had managed to fall down and hurt yourself." He ended his sentenced abruptly with a dark laugh before pulling his hands from mine and placing them gently against my cheeks.

"Do even know how scared I was when you fell and clipped your head on that lamppost?" He asked me and I had to fight with the fog in my mind to form an answer. It was absurd the affect he had on me.

"No, I was more focused on the crazy men who were trying to hurt you." Told him truthfully and he shook his head slowly at me.

"You surprise me every day." He whispered before leaning in and capturing my lips in his. My hands moved from my thighs to the nape of his neck and I held on to him wanting the kiss to never end. Edward pulled away his breathing slightly labored as he chuckled at me.

"Is there anything else you would like to know?" He asked taking my hands from around his neck and holding them.

"Yes, what was all that Alice and Jasper stuff?"

"Oh, well, I saw you slowly getting too caught up in that book you were writing." I could feel my face pale at the mention of the book, how could he know? Did he know what it was about? What if he thought it was stupid? I began to feel panic bubbling up in my chest but Edward's words silenced it. "Yes, I know you are writing a book and it's nothing to be embarrassed about, I always thought you were amazing with words, when you want to be." He said teasingly and I smacked his shoulder.

"I called Alice to get her to come over, so you could have some fun on your summer holiday. You shouldn't work so long it's not good for you." He told me sternly and I laughed at him.

"Did you have any fun this summer so far? From what I've been hearing you've spent your entire summer watching me. That doesn't sound like fun." Edward rolled his eyes at me.

"Anything to do with you is fun." He told me and I was the one rolling my eyes now.

"You're telling me that it would be fun to watch me write a math test?" I asked him my eybrows raised.

"Of course, your cute facial expressions when your thinking and when you figured out the answer would be worth sitting there for an hour." He told me and I stared at him in disbelief.

"You're serious," I said as I looked at his expression catching no hint of teasing or fibbing.

"Yes I am, now are you going to keep interrupting me or do you not want the answer?" He asked and I pretended to zip my lips shut.

"Alice agreed to come down and she immediately called you. Jasper never went to Forks to see his parents; she lied to you so you couldn't find a reason to make her stay in California. If you knew there was no way to get Alice to stay you would easily give in, which you did." Edward said matter-of-factly.

"By any chance, were you the little birdie that told Alice I needed bedding?" I asked him, starting to feel suspicious.

"Guilty," He said smiling at me. "Anything else?" He asked me and suddenly I knew what else I wanted.

"Come, we have to get back to my dorm. I have something I need to show you." I told him before hopping off the Volvo and right into his chest. Edward steadied me by placing his hands on my hips and I felt a thrill go through my body, but he didn't let me move an inch towards the Passenger's side.

"Okay, just give me a minute." He told me before kissing me once more. I could feel my knees going weak beneath me and I clung to his neck again to help me stay up. I could feel Edward's hands around my waist and my skin began to tingle when his hands brushed against my exposed skin on my back.

"Now we can go." Edward said before walking me to my side of the car and helping me in. One thing was for sure, I would never get used to kissing him.

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**There is only one more chapter and an epilogue after this, thought I should warn you.**

**remeber any questions, just ask.**

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**LilyAlice**


	23. I'm Only Me When I'm With You

**Thank you all for you review and for just reading more story, I'm getting sad that this story is coming to it's end, you all have been great. I mean I have over 1000 REVIEWS, that is feaking awesome.**

_I'm Only Me When I'm With You - Taylor Swift_

We pulled up into the campus twenty minutes later and I still couldn't keep my eyes off of Edward.

"We're here." He told me pulling me from my thoughts and I smiled at him.

"Come on." I jumped out of the car and ran to the driver's side pulling on his hand so he would get out faster.

"Where's the fire?" He asked me laughing joyfully as I pulled him towards my dorm.

"There's no fire, but I want to show you something." I told him pulling his hand harder as I felt him slow down.

"Bella, you're acting like an impatient ten year old at a water park." He told me walking slower than I would have liked.

"No, I'm acting like a happy seventeen year old who wants to show her best friend something." I replied still trying to get him to move but growing tired at the effort. He watched me trying to pull him and laughed before knocking my legs out from underneath me and lifting me into his arms. I scowled at him briefly before a smile broke out across my face, unable to be unhappy with him.

"This way I won't lose an arm and you won't get tired." He told me his emerald eyes sparkling, I couldn't possibly argue with him when he looked so happy. I sighed and crossed my arms over my chest as he carried me towards my dorm.

"Don't pout." He said before ducking his head and kissing the corner of my mouth, instantly making me smile. "I've spent to long without your smile, so keep smiling." He commanded me and I happily obeyed. When we reached the flight of stairs Edward placed me gently on my feet.

"I wouldn't want to fall and hurt you." He said as I looked at him questioningly.

"You're saying that if you were to trip – Which I highly doubt by the way – but if you were that you wouldn't care about, oh I don't know, breaking your neck, you would worry about hurting me?" I asked with raised eyebrows and Edward started laughing as we ascended the stairs his hand wrapped securely around mine.

"When will you ever get it through your very stubborn mind that I love you more then I can say?" He asked stopping and turning to face me in the narrow stairwell. I could feel his chest against mine as he took steady breaths, in and out, in and out. My eyes caught the exposed skin at the top of his v- neck sweater, pale and perfect, and I could see the muscles in his shoulders tense as his arms moved so he could lift my chin up. He applied little pressure to my chin to get me to lift my head to see my eyes.

"You do understand that I do love you…right?" He asked an unfathomable expression on his face but somehow it seemed sad.

"Yes, I do understand that you love me." I told him and he smiled at me before his expression became serious.

"Then why did you take so long to answer my question?" He inquired and I felt my face heat up in embarrassment. Was he really going to make me answer that question? "That bad?" I could detect pain in his voice again and I knew I had to truthfully answer his question.

"I was staring at your chest." I told him ducking my face into his chest not wanting him to see my blushing face and I didn't want to see his smug amused smile. I could feel his chuckle in his chest as his arms wrapped around my waist, holding me closely to his body.

"Bella you can be so strange sometimes." He told me before taking my hand and pulling away from me, continuing the walk up the stairs. I could still feel my cheeks burning but I followed him with my head held up and a smile on my face.

"I'm not strange, just unique." I told him and he looked at me with an amused expression from the step above.

"That you are, unique in your strangeness." I scowled at him before walking quickly ahead of him towards my dorm room. I looked down at my watch then back up at Edward.

"It took us ten minutes just to get up a pair of stairs." I told him and he grinned impishly at me as I pushed my key into the door listening to the familiar click when the door came unlocked. Edward followed me in slowly, his eyes scanning all around the room, smiling when he saw the comforter on my bed.

"You like it then?" He asked slightly nervously and I nodded sitting comfortably on my bed, dragging up my legs so they were underneath me.

"Of course I love it, why wouldn't I?" I inquired looking at him with raised eyebrows as he stood nervously in the doorway. The way Edward stood nervously at my door, he made even nervousness sexy.

"I don't know, maybe it wasn't the colour you wanted, maybe you wanted to buy your own bed sheets." He told me and I struggled to hold in my giggles, Edward was being self conscious.

"Edward, come here." I commanded him and he came to my side sitting down on the very edge of my bed. I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around his shoulder kissing the crook of his neck. Edward turned underneath my arms, his face now only inches from mine. I smiled at him before I felt his lips on mine. My hands instantly went to the soft tendrils of hair in the back of his neck and I pulled him closer. My skin seemed to ignite and tingle every where he touched me, the small of my back, my cheek, my lips and my chest. The passion seemed to seize my mind as my hands trailed down his back and up the front of his shirt. We pulled apart and our breath mingled between us for a second before I collapsed against his chest gasping for air. I could feel Edward's chest rumble beneath my ear as he laughed lowly at me.

"You really need to learn to breathe through your nose." Edward told me slightly breathless, but in way better condition than me. I lifted my head up enough so I could see his face, a happy smile in place on his lips.

"You made me forget." I told him simply, loving how his eyes found mine and were filled with confusion.

"How did I make you forget to breathe?" He asked in a slightly incredulous tone.

"Easily, you kissed me." If only Edward knew the full truth, just being this close to him made my thoughts seem scattered in my head. The sound of his voice could distract me from the most interesting of books, his emerald eyes could trap me in their depths and I could be lost for eternity.

"Just because I kissed you, you forgot to breathe?" He asked in disbelief, probably questioning my sanity.

"Yes, you distract and dazzle me." Edward shook his head slowly back and forth at my confession before his lips spread into the gorgeous crooked smile I loved. We sat comfortably in each other's arms enjoying each other's company after that for a few minutes before Edward shifted beneath me.

"Didn't you have something to show me?" Edward asked as his hand found my hand and held it. It took me a minute to figure out what he was talking about, but soon I remembered the whole reason for the rush to get here.

"Yes, I did, let me get it." I sadly dragged myself out of Edward's arms and pulled my hand from his feeling the emptiness when it was gone. I walked across the room to grab my laptop that sat on my desk. "I hope you're up to reading." I told him and he nodded a small smile on his lips. I quickly logged in and pulled up my story scrolling down to the last chapter I wrote.

"What, I don't get to read the whole thing?" I shook my head at him not even wanting to look up at him, knowing I would give in if I met his too persuasive eyes.

"No, you get to read this chapter and help me write an ending." I told him happily.

"Sounds fun, what are you going to do though?" He asked, I got back up and went over to a box before pulling out _Wuthering Heights. _Edward laughed when he saw the book I pulled out of the box and shook his head at me again.

"I really think I need to take you to a book store soon." He informed me before sliding to the end of the bed and leaning against my pillows.

"I think you should, there are many new books I've been dying to get my hands on." I smiled at him warmly before walking over and leaning against his thigh, using it as a head rest. We lay like that for the next hour, his hand running through my hair or down my arm while he read my story and I lay still with my head comfortably on his leg as I tried my hardest to pay attention to Catherine and Heathcliff's story. Occasionally he would catch me staring at him and he would kiss my forehead or my lips gently before looking back at the screen on my laptop. It surprised me in some ways how quickly we fell back together, we truly were magnet puzzle pieces the pull was too strong to keep us away. When I felt Edward shift beneath me I knew he was done reading and I sat up so I was beside him, placing my book on the floor.

"So?" I asked slightly self conscious and nervous about his reaction.

"I thought it was very good, well what I read anyways." He told him and I looked into his eyes trying to see if he was lying just to spare my feelings. I smiled broadly when I saw no hint of false sincerity in his eyes.

"Really?" My enthusiasm was barely contained.

"Yes, really," He repeated laughing at my expression before kissing my forehead. "There is just one thing that I think needs to be fixed." He said he voice instantly becoming serious and I tensed up at the tone.

"I think you need a happy ending." I sighed in relief before moving so I was in his lap, moving my computer to the bed.

"Any suggestions Mr. Cullen?" I asked with false seriousness.

"A couple," He said ducking his head down so his lips could press gently to my throat. A shiver ran through my body at the gentle pressure his lips put on my neck. "I think the main characters should end up together." He said his breath gently caressing my skin and making it tingle.

"Do you?" I asked my voice an octave higher and I blushed in embarrassment.

"I do, they should live happily ever after, growing old in each other's arms." He whispered in my ear his voice smooth velvet, before his mouth trailed along my jaw stopping at the edge of my mouth.

"Sounds wonderful," I told him unable to form a complete sentence, my thoughts were in a haze and my breathing was irregular.

"Good, I'll help you write the ending." He told me before gently placing me on his side and picking up the laptop. I stared at him for a minute, blinking rapidly to try and clear my head.

"You want to?" I asked him.

"Of course."

"When would you like to start?" I asked looking at him as he smiled perfectly at me.

"Nothing like the present," He replied placing the laptop on my legs and putting me back in his lap so he could look over my shoulder. My body tingled happily at the contact and I smiled unable to keep it off my face when I was so close to Edward. Edward's hands overlapped mine and together we began to write, with nothing but each other on our minds and in our arms.

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**LilyAlice**


	24. Epilogue

**What does a computer virus, writers block, end of the school year homework load and brothers all have in common. If you guessed a very very late cahpter and a very veyr sorry author you are correct.**

**I have finally come to the Epilogue and trust me it took longer than I thought. SO without any further introduction...the epilogue**

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**One Year Later**

Edward stood in front of me, his back bent over the table of books as he placed yet another stack on the edge of the wooden table. I leaned my back against the cool pillar behind me and watched him talk to an employee of the library before flashing me one of his crooked smiles that always seemed to melt my insides and make my knees wobble underneath my weight. I couldn't help but smile back at him and he winked at me as he finished up his conversation with the women.

"Slacking on the job Miss Swan," Edward said shaking his head in mock disappointment.

"You looked so happy doing my work for me; I thought I wouldn't deny you that pleasure." Edward chuckled at me before wrapping me in his arms. I took my weight off the pillar and leaned it against Edward's chest, relaxing under his calming touch, breathing in his delicious scent. Edward kissed the top of my head tenderly and I smiled into his chest feeling completely whole in his arms.

"Are you ready Miss Swan?" The Library manager asked me from my right and I looked over at him noticing his discomfort for disturbing Edward and I. I extracted myself from Edward's arms before smiling brightly at the owner.

"I think I am." I told him and he nodded once before walking away.

"Are you nervous?" Edward whispered in my ear, standing directly behind me.

"Just a little bit," I answered walking towards the table where many copies of my book lay on the sides. It still surprised me when I saw the book with my name on the cover. The cover design was beautiful, but that could be a biased opinion. The cover had a Polaroid picture on the front of two little kids playing happily on the swings, neither over the age of seven. I really enjoyed just looking at the cover of the book and how it reminded me of Edward and me when we were little, the carefree way we would run around and play.

"Bella, I'll just be over there." Edward said pointing to a chair a couple of meters from me. I nodded at him and he kissed me before walking over to the chair and sitting down, watching me intently as I straightened out the stacks of books nervously. The library doors opened and even though I knew I wouldn't have that many people come to ask me any questions I was still shaking and sweating with nerves. Some people came in to look through the wide assortment of books that the library had available for them others came to listen to the music or type on the computer. My heart lifted when I saw a couple of girls with my book in their arms walk in and take a seat on the chairs positioned in front of me where I would do a reading of my book later on. I smiled warmly at them and they grinned back before walking up to the desk.

"Would you mind signing these?" The short red head asked and I nodded before looking around for my pen, feeling embarrasses when I couldn't find it.

"I seem to have lost my pen." I told them before standing up and they giggled at me. I spun around to see Edward holding my pen in his hand waving it in the air at me. I scowled at him before turning to the girls whose eyes were glued to Edward. "It seems like my friend has stolen my pen, give me a minute." I told them before walking off not even sure if they heard me. It was acceptable sometimes I couldn't function completely when Edward was near.

"You thief," I accused him taking the pen from his out stretched hand.

"I am not, I found it laying on the floor when I noticed you were looking for something." He defended himself and I nodded.

"It's only been half an hour and I've already made a fool of myself," I confessed to him and he smiled brightly at me before hugging me briefly.

"Don't worry about it, it's just the nerves." He told me before placing his hand on the small of my back and giving me a gentle push back to the table. When I got back I noticed the group of girls had multiplied and now four younger girls stood at the table looking at me then glancing at Edward.

"I have successfully obtained my pen." I told them happily and they laughed briefly before the first girl passed me her book and I signed it. Soon I noticed the group of girls and mothers were filling up the few wooden chairs the library had provided. I even saw a boy being towed by his girlfriend. The signing went by fast and soon all the chairs were full and some of the ground. The questioning part was about to begin and I felt sick to my stomach, feeling like I was going to mess up so horribly they would throw my book back at me.

"Thank you all for coming," I started off in a loud clear voice, amazed I had even managed that. "If you have any questions I would be glad to answer them." I said and instantly saw three hands shoot up. I pointed to a girl with her brown hair tied up in a pony tail.

"Where did you get your inspiration for this book?" She asked in a cheerful voice that strangely reminded me of Alice when she was asking Esme questions about colour and décor.

"My life," I stated simply. "The book is roughly based off of events that happened to me, I took some of those feelings I felt and put them into words. My friends are all in the book, their fun personalities and sweet kind words." I told them and three more hands went up. I pointed to the only boy with his hand up and he cleared his throat before talking.

"Your main characters name is Jane, I was wondering why you choose that name?" he asked slightly timidly.

"Jane is a very normal name, a name I didn't have to put a lot of thought into. Some of my friends asked me why I didn't use my name but that was because I was trying to write my story using a character that hadn't yet experienced these things and because it was weird writing with my name." I thought about what I just said and quickly added something to the end. "No offense if your name is Jane." I said and received a few snickers. I quickly pointed to another girl.

"You say your characters are based off friends, but is you second main character Edward actually based off a real guy or is this just your dream guy?" She asked and I noticed a few girls perk up. I smiled at her and laughed, cutting myself off quickly, trying not to be rude.

"Actually, Edward is a real guy, my closest friend." The girls who were here first eyes darted to Edward and back to me, with slightly shocked expressions on their faces. The question and answer went on for the next ten minutes where I answered as many questions as I could for the group of people. By the end of the questions and the reading I felt almost comfortable talking in front of the group of people.

"Thank you all for coming, it means so much." I said kindly to them and they all left talking in excited voices out of the library. I didn't hear Edward coming until I felt his arms wrap around me and his velvet voice in my ear.

"You ready to go home?" he asked pulling me closer to his body. I could feel the heat of his body soaking into my back.

"I will when you help me clean up the rest of the books." I told him and he sighed dramatically before smiling and picking up the extra books. Working together the cleanup of the library only took ten minutes and I was ready to go home so I could curl up in a fleece blanket on my couch with a bowl of popcorn and Edward. I thanked the Library staff and followed Edward out to the Volvo carrying the smaller of the two boxes. I slide quickly into the Volvo, almost impatient to get home.

"You look excited to go home." Edward said conversationally as he maneuvered the car onto the road, grabbing one of my hands in his, an unconscious gesture.

"I am Rosalie and Emmett are coming over today." I informed him and he chuckled at me, squeezing my hand gently.

"I forgot you actually like Emmett." Edward teased; I chose to ignore his comment, too excited about seeing Emmett after three months of him and Rosalie studying away at a University in California. We pulled up to the Cullen's house after a few minutes of comfortable silence and I practically flew from the car, getting scolded from Edward for hopping out of a moving car.

"Bella!" Emmett's voice boomed across the yard. I saw him standing on the porch his curly brown hair moving in the small breeze. Rosalie stood behind him her golden locks shining almost as brightly as her diamond ring on her left finger under the sun's rays. I ran right into Emmett's outstretched arms and he spun me in a circle before placing my feet firmly back on the ground.

"I missed you," I said happily hugging him one last time.

"You say that every time," Emmett said beaming happily down at me. "I missed you too though, don't worry Edward I missed you, just not as much as Bella." Emmett said smiling even wider at Edward as he gracefully walked towards the porch, the box of books in his arms.

"I don't know if I can say the same thing." Edward said with a serious voice placing the box gently on the porch, before turning to Rosalie and giving her a quick hug.

"You don't mean that," Emmett said walking over to Edward and giving him one of his famous Emmett Cullen hugs. Rosalie and I laughed when we saw Edward gasp for air.

"Hello Bella," Rosalie said smiling at me as we both turned away from the boys as they began to act like bickering brothers. "How did the book selling go?" She asked as we walked through the foyer and towards the living room where I could hear Alice and Jasper talking about going to see a movie that had just come out.

"It went…perfectly, I couldn't have asked for a better turn out." I said truthfully and she nodded before taking a few steps away from me. I looked at her curiously before I heard Alice's voice ring out like chimes down the hall. I turned to see Alice running towards me, coming to a quick stop by my feet before throwing her small arms around my waist. I laughed happily as she held me tightly.

"Alice, it's only been a few days." I told her when she let go of my waist and stepped back beaming up at me.

"That may be true, but I still missed you." She told me truthfully before grabbing my hand and pulling me towards the living room. "Where's my brother anyway?" She asked looking up at me curiously and looking down the hall. "I never see him without you."

"Emmett and him are arguing about video games and schooling." I told her. Alice nodded like it was the most normal thing in the world

"Hello Bella dear." Esme said from the couch in their living room. Esme was leaning her small body on Carlisle as they played Monopoly with Jasper and making an educated guess I would have to say Alice too.

"Hello Esme, Carlisle, Jasper." I said to them all and the two blond men waved at me before looking back at their game and rolling the dice. The sound of footsteps approaching the living room made me look up from their monopoly game. Edward and Emmett both entered the living room, Edward coming straight towards me. A private smile on his face, a smile only for me.

"I love you." He whispered in my ear pulling me breathlessly against his chest.

"I love you too." I responded automatically reading up on the tip of my toes so I could place a lingering kiss on his lips.

"The whole family's here." Esme said cheerfully standing up and heading towards the kitchen coming back with a bowl of fruit and a bowl of candy. I looked over at Emmett and we both smiled before going straight to the bowl of candy. Rosalie and Alice each grabbed a peach. Jasper and Edward both looked at each other before rolling their eyes at the four of us.

"I vote we play Pictionary." Alice said after she had finished her peach. Everyone agreed and we split up into teams, girls verse guys. Soon we all fell back into an old routine, arguing and bickering, laughing and cheering, smiling and hugging. We spent time together as a family connected by something stronger than blood. Night had flown past us and a new dawn was on the horizon. We all were exhausted from a night of family games and I lay in Edward's arms on the floor of the Cullen's new living room carpet, surrounded by the people I loved.

"Good-night Edward," I whispered, but it came out slurred and almost inaudible.

"Good-night Bella," He whispered back placing a tender kiss on my forehead before drifting off to sleep.

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**Thank you so much for all your support, your reviews and PM's. I really enjoyed writing this story and did not think it would get the response it has recieved. Thank you for the over 1000 reviews and over 59,000 hits. Last time I checked there was 267 favourites and nearly 430 alerts.**

**I hope you guys loved the story as much as I did! **

**Remember any questions just ask!**

**My next story won't be up untill the end of the school year, which is in two weeks. And at this moment it's either Lunar Eclipse (because i nearly have 10,000 words for it) and Found (Because that is the one you all seem to want) any opinions just say it in a review.**

**LilyAlice**


	25. Extra 1

**Okay so di4 asked me if I could write an extra and I decided it would be fun so here is what I wrote.**

**It is between chapters eighteen and nineteen, when Bella is writing the book.**

My messenger bag was slung loosely across my shoulder as I walked slowly down the sidewalk, looking for a place where I could get a descent drink. The sidewalk was filled with afternoon traffic and I felt strange walking among so many laughing people. The sun was hidden behind small wisps of grey cloud and a cool breeze was blowing through the town.

I turned a corner and saw across the street a small café that was advertising peppermint hot chocolate. Even though it wasn't anywhere near winter or the holidays I suddenly craved the warm chocolaty drink. I quickly looked both ways before running across the street and into the small café. The bell above the door dinged when I opened it and it startled me before I realized what it was. I laughed, a shaky laugh to myself before heading towards the counter where a teenage girl with honey blond hair stood, a smile plaster on her face.

"Welcome to Kathy's Café, how may I help you?" She asked her voice strained with annoyance and anger but still she managed to smile, a small accomplishment.

"Could I get a medium Peppermint Hot chocolate?" I asked trying my best to smile at her but I knew there was no getting her out of her irritated mood. She typed in my order with perfectly French manicured hands before grabbing a cup and filling it up.

"That comes to 2. 25." She said placing the cup of steaming hot chocolate on the counter for me. I fished through my messenger bag and pulled up the exact amount of change, knowing that if I gave her a five dollar bill she would probably bite my head off. She didn't even try to smile at me as I picked up my cup and made my way to the furthest empty table. I found a table in a corner and sat down, pulling out a notepad from my messenger bag. Thoughts and ideas were running rampant through my head and I needed to get some of them down on paper.

I knew it was cliché to sit in a café and write but it was hard not to. To let all those wonderfully words and ideas vanish from your mind was a horrible feeling. The sound of my pen scratching on the blank paper was calming to me and soon I became lost in my own little world. The words seemed to flow from my mind and onto the paper that was slowly beginning to fill. The sound of the bell rang through the small café and I looked up to see two girls walk in chatting loudly to each other. I sighed, feeling upset about being distracted. I took the distraction as a chance to drink some of my hot chocolate before it got cold. The warm liquid felt good as it went down my throat and stretched out my fingers watching as the two girls walked over and took a table beside me. Their hair was tied up in a high pony tail and they wore jogging outfits. I never completely understood some people's motivation to run but it was a healthy life style. When I tried to go back to my writing I again became distracted by their loud and bubbly voices.

"Did you see him?" The red headed girl asked her blond friend. The blond girl nodded excitedly as she took a sip of her latte.

"How could I not see him, I mean he was gorgeous." I tried even harder to ignore them, not wanting to hear about some good looking guy they may have possibly seen outside. The harder I tried to ignore them the louder their voices became to my ears.

"I mean his hair was the sexiest shade of red and brown I have ever seen." The red head said cheerfully fanning herself.

"I didn't think shades of a colour could be sexy." Her friend replied teasing her.

"I don't care; his emerald eyes were also sexy in that I'm mysterious way." The red head said ignoring her friend. My interest perked up at the mention of emerald eyes and I became frozen in my seat, forced to listen to the two girls babble on.

"Steph, I saw him with my own two eyes. I know what you're talking about. The way he stared so intently across the café, the way he swiftly stood up and left. I mean just the way he moved was graceful beyond belief." My heart beat erratically in my chest. I was jumping to conclusions, there had to be another boy with that description on this side of the United States. My breathing was becoming hard to control and my mind was going into over drive.

"Why didn't we go over and talk to him, instead of coming over here?" Steph asked her friend and my head shot in their direction, hoping I had heard them right. I couldn't even stop myself form packing my stuff up and walking over to their side.

"Can we help you?" The blond asked her voice confused at my sudden appearance.

"Where did you see that boy?" I asked them hurriedly and they shared a quick glance before the girl named Steph looked at me with raised eyebrows.

"He was over there, but I don't know what you want with him." I didn't even bother thanking her before I pushed my way to the other side of the café, to the seats she had pointed to. I didn't even realize I had my hopes up until I saw the empty chairs and the older people. I could feel my face fall and my shoulders slump. The sound of the bell dinging made my head swivel around and look towards the door. I saw a tall man in a dark green sweater standing outside, the wind whipping against his jeans. My heart slowed down to regular pace as I walked towards the door and outside, wondering when the wind had picked up. The man in the green sweater still stood there his shoulder hunched over and his back tense.

I felt an urge to comfort him, but shook it off quickly wondering why I thought he was sad. I heaved my messenger bag back up onto my shoulder and walked towards the dorm, so I could type up the rest of my story without any distractions. Thoughts of the boy in the green sweater pushed to the very corners of my mind.

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**Hope you liked it! **

**There will be NO sequel for everyone who was asking, I thought I should mention this now because everyone seems to be asking me that. I'm sorry if you wanted one but I thought I lefted them off happy, I didn't want to mess it up.**

**Thank you again for all your support and review, you people outstand me every single day when I look at my inbox. **

**Again any questions or comments just PM me or write a review.**

**Another thanks to di4!**

**LilyAlice**


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